Me.

My photo
Possibly intelligent.

Just a little bit.
Saturday, August 25, 2012

When someone needs it, I'm there to listen.


And though I rarely do it, there are times when I tell someone that I need a listening ear too.

But more often than not it seems like there isn't anyone interested in listening to me.

It would be nice to have someone who'd listen to me.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 3:18 AM 0 comment(s)  

I Fell In Love Once.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012


Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize - don't patronize me
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't
I'll close my eyes, then I won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holding me
Morning will come and I'll do what's right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't
- I can't make you love me, by Bonnie Raitt

I fell in love once.

I haven't fallen out of it since.

The joke is on me.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 1:44 AM 0 comment(s)  

Magic.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012

"Hocus pocus".

This world needs a little more magic, don't you think?

It seems like everything can be explained away, and that's not right. There should be some things that defy explanation, that don't warrant it. Some magic. Like looking up at the clouds and wondering what lies behind them, but never knowing. Like jumping into a pool of water and feeling like you've crossed into another world.

Science has made the world, and life, so... Certain. Like there's an explanation for everything. But that shouldn't be the way it is, there should be more mystery to it. And behind the mystery, a simple sense of awe and wonder. A simple sense of magic. Children see the world that way: they see magic all around them, and as they grow they lose that view, because of all our textbooks, the Internet, what have you. The magic is simply lost, and that's just sad.

At least, so it is to me.

Some may say that "magic" I'm looking for is simply some form of "ignorance". I disagree - but I can't quite explain the difference, despite the fact that I feel they are two very different things. I suppose I'll have to leave it to you to define it, whichever way you like.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 3:15 PM 0 comment(s)  

May.
Saturday, May 5, 2012

I can't believe it's May already. Having been so occupied with work, I didn't notice the passage of time. I've still a lot of work to do, but hopefully everything I'm working on will be up and running smoothly by the end of the month. I've got my fingers crossed.


So what else is new?

My family recently sold off our Kelisa. I was beginning to be quite fond of that car, but it was causing quite a few problems, and selling it was the best thing we could do. The good news is: I got myself a new car after. Quite happy that I've got something under my name again, something that's mine.

I still miss the old Satria though. It's been... Four years now? At least, I think it's been four years since I lost that car in a terrible (and traumatic) accident. One has to wonder when I'll actually put it behind me and stop feeling envious of other Satria drivers.

I guess that;s always been one of my problems: I've always found it very hard to let go. What's troubling is that I've got quite a few things to actually let go, and I don't think I'm making any progress. I don't really know HOW to make progress.

How does everyone else do it? I could use a few tips.

I recently started reading Neil Gaiman's "American Gods". Would you believe me if I told you that this is the first of his works that I've read? I'm enjoying it so far. It's been a while since I read some fantasy-fiction, and it's a welcome change from the likes of Dostoevsky and Turgenev.

Did I mention I have about 15 books on my shelf, waiting to be read? I really need to learn to take some time off and catch up on my reading.

It's a welcome distraction.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 3:58 PM 0 comment(s)  

Hush.
Saturday, April 21, 2012

I sign in, and my fingers begin gliding over the keyboard. But they press nothing, simply because I am at a loss for words. I don't know how to express myself.


Or maybe I'm just afraid to.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 11:40 PM 0 comment(s)  

Fish on a Hook.
Sunday, January 22, 2012

Now you're just somebody that I used to know

Hello. Once again, it's been a while since I last came around here and talked about anything. I guess now is as good a time as any to do a little updating.

What's new then?

I'll be leaving my current job soon - I've been roped into something else, and it looks pretty promising. Granted, it's going to take a lot of hard work and persistence, but I think I'll handle well enough. What is it, you may ask? Well, I suppose that's something for another time. Check in every once in a while - I might just tell you more about it.

2011 wasn't the best of years - all around it was just an incredibly tiring affair, and I had to deal with a lot of leftover problems from the previous year(s). But that's not new, no? One way or another, we're all haunted by our pasts, and I am no different.

I'm still battling that little monster everyone knows as "Loneliness". I'm just not quite over that certain someone - no, not yet. One does wonder though - how much longer till I get up and go, and leave this behind me? Trouble is I'm trying to get over something I've never had, and that makes it all the more difficult. Hell, I've spent a good five years doing just that. I guess I must be doing something terribly wrong, because after five solid years I'm still madly in love with her.

Ideas, anyone? I'm certainly drained of any.

By the way, this isn't even the half of it. Hell, I'd say I've just barely touched the surface. You have no idea how messed up I feel right now.

I wish I could go into further detail - it would certainly help lift the weight that's on my shoulders (at least, some of it). Unfortunately, I can't - for too many reasons. And all of them right, too.

Such is the matter of things.

Ah well.


Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 3:57 AM 0 comment(s)  

Queen of Hearts.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011

I know she knows I miss her. Though I don't think she knows just how much.


But then again, maybe she does. She's amazing that way.

Pretty damn amazing.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 1:11 AM 0 comment(s)  

Getaway.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Saat kupejamkan mataku
Engkau hadir dalam mimpiku
Dikala waktu kita masih bersama
Jelas tergambar senyumanmu
Jelas terlukiskan wajahmu
Dihatiku..masih tersimpan dirimu

I'll be visiting Cherating at the end of the month. I'm looking forward to it, not just because I need this getaway, but because I'll be going there with someone very special.

A little rest and relaxation will do us both a lot of good.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 2:23 AM 0 comment(s)  

Starry, Starry Night.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011

I was really looking forward to seeing you tonight.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 8:43 PM 0 comment(s)  

Between Black Lines.
Monday, May 30, 2011

It has been so long since I posted anything.

But who am I kidding? I don't post to ease my troubled mind anymore. I do it to get attention. Which is why the things I've written in my little brown book mean so much to me.

Those words are mine, and mine alone. That book is a look into my heart.

And I'll be damned if I ever let anyone look into my heart.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 5:08 PM 0 comment(s)  

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