Nuts & Bolts

There are nights when I just stare blankly into the screen before me, and I know I'm at a loss for something. I know that I'm not happy, that I'm missing something important in my life.

Then I look over to the corner - I find those two empty photo frames, staring back at me, almost taunting me. And there I know exactly what's missing.

I don't have anything to be proud of - I have nothing with me now that can prove to anyone that I'm worth anything, and at times that depresses me so much that I find myself laughing as tears roll down my face. Then I beat myself up, because grown men don't cry. I play the fool and laugh more - it's my way of pushing my feelings aside, my way of convincing myself that I'm perfectly fine. My way of lying. Both to myself and to everyone around me.

I suppose I haven't grown at all. I suppose I still am just that little boy who doesn't know where he's going - the one who's still looking for someone's hand to hold onto before crossing the road.