Nuts & Bolts

One Eye on the Past, Another on the Future.
Sunday, December 30, 2007

Seeing as tomorrow is New Year's Eve, I might as well blog about the past year now, considering I won't be able to tomorrow.
Also because I want to.

Somewhere in the earlier part of 2007, I deleted my old blog, under the URL "adamtherandom.blogspot.com". I decided to do so because it grew to be rather depressing, and I wanted to stop blogging and sort myself out.

After a few months, I started again. This blog was the result of my desire to start blogging again. It originally started as "Letters from a Dewind", inspired mainly by the title and idea of the movie Letters from Iwo Jima. I blogged under the idea of writing letters to anonymous readers, detailing my problems in them. After realizing that my blog was once again nothing but a wall of depression, I sought to change it - naming it "Nuts & Bolts". It was here that I took to writing about different things - mostly those which struck my mind and interest, which weren't depressing in nature, but rather... more exciting and carefree. It was also during this period that I found the resemblance between my MSN nickname (my initial and surname: A. Dewind) and the current URL (adewind.blogspot.com). This was good, as it increased the personality of this blog (to me, at least).

Now I've come to realize that the same thing is happening once again - of late, most of what I blog has been about the darker parts of my emotions (well, the more reader friendly ones have been published here - the rest I keep hidden in the corner of my coffin). However, I'm not going to go about and change the blog. "Life isn't supposed to make sense", and this blog is an extension of me. As I go through the ups and downs of my strange life, so will this blog. Is this for good or bad? Anyone who reads this blog might very well get sick of the stuff I write about, but personally: I couldn't care.

So that was the blog. What about the rest of my life?
The year has seen new additions to those I call "friends". The year has seen me grow closer to a few people, and grow further apart from some others (some obvious enough, some not). The year has seen me lose a lot, gain a little.
The year has seen me mature, in my perception, my thoughts. Though at the same time it's seen me deteriorate, also in my perception and my thoughts. How is this so? So long as you can look at things from a different angle, you'll be sure to understand what I'm getting at.
I could go into details about how I matured, who I grew closer to and who I grew apart from,
but those are details I shall need to keep to myself.

I have some hope in 2008 - that it'll be better than this year's. Though it's really a small hope, seeing how things are going... I guess I can predict well enough where I''ll be heading in 2008.
Ok, that's for another time.

Till then, have a good New Year's people. Some of you deserve it.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 7:39 PM 0 comment(s)  

In The Wrong Places.
Saturday, December 29, 2007

Few will attempt to understand. Of that few, not all will understand.

I wonder...

Kajilau daan jaberya bongmemkar sejme nii, ku momehon: pansimlah dapa dimuri.

Daakah dimuri huta kana rapesaan ku dapa dimuri? Dahsu seanki mala ku memsubi, ngankanbera daankea dinama dimuri huta kana kedakhen hakuti. Sakahlah ku nganbera? Dinama datia raca tukun dikuri luahmekan sii tiha pamuda, dakhenlah ku mesingi ngrua songko tui di nisi. Dakhenlah ku luahmekan uasemnya, ngande rahapan dimuri memcaba. Wapunlau dakti mehamima, bilahar.

Dahsu kisean mala ku berpimimkan wamujah, tumubuh. Berpimimkan dikuri melukmemu, sedanba, setiha, diwahba narsi lanbu, diwaba upanti ngina lupi.
Ringse ku beryatan: pamengakah dikuri betugi taterrik dapa dimuri? Daakah ketikcankan mu? Daakah raca dimuri memwaba ridi? Jawanyapan lahte ku mala hafami: ku dakti sekatta taterrik dapamu. Ku cinmentai mu. Senuhpe hakuti, ku cinmentai mu.

Raca dimuri kewata. Pannganda tama mu. Aub mu. Uasem lekebihan mu. Uasem kukerangan mu. Dimuri. Nyaha dimuri.

Ku sule nyimmepan pesaanra ku. Munna datia raca yang inla. Jilauka sii hakuti dikanluah dapamu, ku huta... Dimuri dakti gupsang merimane.
Pakahtut ku perruhtakan uasem yang daa niki, tukun suasetu yang kinmung dakti terdija? Ku ginin. Ku ginin. Pita ku dakti benira.

Ku dakti huma hikelangan mu.

Wapunlau dakti ku juktun, tiha ku kitsa manmedang - abilapa dimuri rila mebutnyam laleki inla, melukme mekare ngande yumsenanmu yang lasikh, tanmugan rate gemenlilingi danba mekare. Munna dakti nahper ku temari yalanan besegitu. Dakti...
Ku ginin guhsung limehat mu mebutnyam ku besegitu. Ku ginin guhsung dimuri melukme ku, segaimanaba mekare pedilukmu. Ku ginin. Guhsung.

Dangka laka ku bernyata: paakah dikuri dapamu? Daakah narbe dimuri gangmengap ku basegai banga mu? Taua daakah ku nyaha basegai pertaraan, dimuri dan dinyari? Dihse ku mimekirkan panandang mu dapaku, kaji nyaha besegitu.

Ku huta, ku kanbu lipihan hamuti. Ku huta, dikuri keranganku. Ku huta, dimuri dakti cinmentaiku. Ku huta, dimuri kantak likmi ku.
Munna ku ruste berpimim. Dan ku ruste megunung.
Kinmung tusua riha tinan pananmudang kana bebahru.
Kinmung tusua riha tinan ku kana tedirimamu.
Kinmung.

Ku cinmentaimu. Pesenuh hakuti.

***

Looks like my B. Malaysia isn't as rusty as I thought. The words are just... mixed up. I guess I should learn to spell the words properly - and make sure every syllable is in the correct place.

:')

*If you've managed to decipher what's written here, and then you try reading it as I've typed it down, with proper intonation, it can sound rather... poetic. I know because I just read it to myself. :)

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 7:41 PM 1 comment(s)  

Remapping the Human Soul.
Friday, December 28, 2007

I have often received good remarks regarding the size of my imagination, and I've always enjoyed these. My imagination allows me to see things many others can't - I am able to see everything around me at different angles of perception, allowing me to reach a high level of "thinking outside the box". Yes, I have always been proud of my imagination.

Despite the many, many advantages to having a large imagination (a large number of it I did not list here), it can sometimes be a little... overwhelming. And... dare I say it? Yes... Fairly dangerous. My imagination isn't constant: it has its days, where sometimes it may be minimal, and sometimes it just shoots off beyond control. The trouble is... when it shoots off, I have little control of how it can influence my thoughts and actions.
I'll share with you here, something that happened to me a couple of nights back. A little peek into how influential my imagination can be on myself...

It was a mere dream. But the vividness and horror of what I showed myself was something I hope never to feel again:-

It was just me, Gillian and Kimberley. We were seated in some restaurant, enjoying what seemed to be a friendly conversation. Moments later I received a call, and picked it up to find my family was in trouble. I left the two ladies to themselves, got into my car, and drove as fast as I could to aid my family.

Then it all went black.

After a while, an image seemed to appear before my eyes - much like when you're waking up, where your eyes slowly adapt to the light around you, moving from a certain level of blur to a much clearer grasp on the surroundings. I found myself in a coffin, with familiar faces all around me. I wanted to scream, but I felt my voice restrained, my body frozen as my brother closed the coffin lid on me. Only then did my body respond to my commands...

I slammed my fists against the lid, hoping to break it open from the inside. I clawed at the wooden box that held me, and I screamed bloody murder. Yet it seemed like no one outside could hear me... or if they did, they didn't care to get me out. And that's when the scariest part began to unfold...

They were covering my coffin with earth - I was now placed neatly in the allocated hole, and they were burying me. How would you feel if all you could hear was the soft earth pounding against your "sheltered" self? I remember images of my friends and family racing through my mind - like a broken player, the images just kept playing, on and on and on. As the memories ran through my mind, I continued beating against the lid. I felt desperation, such as I've never felt before, and I screamed till my voice was gone. My hands were a bloody mess. My clothes were drenched in my own sweat and blood. My mouth was foaming. My heart was racing, and my lungs were aching. Yes... I was suffocating.

I felt warm tears flowing down my cheeks, and I wondered how the people I cared about could do this to me. I wondered how they could stand there and watch me die under their hands. I wondered if I ever meant anything. I choked on my own saliva, and I watched myself as I gave up hope of getting out. I realized then that I was on the brink of death. And it was truly a painful experience. I felt cheated. I felt wronged. And worst of all... I felt lonely. A loneliness that no words can ever describe. My last breath was here, and for all the pain I felt I cried one last time. I heard myself, loud as thunder... though in truth I could only muster a whisper.

"I'm sorry."

And there I was. I felt myself leave my body. I looked down on myself - pale, not as big as I thought I was, and my smile... none. I no longer had a face - at least, not one I recognized. The features were there, but the essentials were missing. Then I wondered, why did I apologize?
But before the answer could come to me, I felt a stabbing pain in my chest...

That's when I woke up, screaming. I found myself on the floor, next to my bed, drenched in my own sweat. I tried to pick myself up, but I didn't have the energy to. My hands were shaking uncontrollably - and there was a pain in them, as if I had been punching a wall for hours on end. There was a bruise on the left side of my chest. My heart was beating so fast, I would've thought I just ran twenty marathons in a row. Breathing... was difficult. It took almost all my concentration and effort just to breathe properly - it felt like I wasn't getting enough air.

I know that I didn't get off the floor for a fairly long time. When I finally did, my head was spinning in all directions, and there was warm blood flowing out of my nose. When I tried to speak to calm myself down, my mouth moved silently - I didn't have a voice. To top it off... I found myself crying. Tears were just flowing out of my already red eyes. And they just wouldn't stop. I pulled myself back into bed, hoping to get some rest and to reason out what just happened. But every time I closed my eyes, I would wake with a sharp pain in my chest, and my hands would be gripping the bed sheet ever so tightly.

Someone once told me that dreams are the mind's way of telling us the honest, blatant truth - the ones that we often subconsciously overlook, in our attempts to make our lives that much easier to go through. And the more powerful our imagination, the more realistic these dreams become.

No dream of mine has ever been this vivid. No dream of mine has ever had such an effect on my body and mind. And no dream of mine has ever caused me to feel physical pain.

I am a prime example. Of how dangerous the imagination can be.
And I'm afraid.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 8:54 PM 3 comment(s)  

Breaking Bonds.
Thursday, December 27, 2007

So full of words is this picture that now it is nothing but a wall of black. Where in the real world, these words would cause more trouble than I'd be willing to face, here... here they find their place. And here, they stand before the eyes of those I would tell them to, no harm incurred - whether it be to your feelings, or mine.

A million and one things need to be said and done. With that another ten million and one possible replies. Acceptance? That's one possibility. There's also the possibility of rejection - if you so choose not to understand the reasons behind my actions. Gah. So much, so fast.

Last year we were one and the same. Next year we'll be different. I'll leave you, that much I'm sure of right now. And then things will start over - for both you and me. For better or worse? Personally I don't quite care - for the right reasons or for the wrong.

Goodbye 2007. Hello 2008.

No, this post wasn't dedicated to the ushering of the new year.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 11:04 PM 0 comment(s)  

The Meaning Behind.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007

To be selfish is an act of selflessness.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 12:03 PM 0 comment(s)  

Perception.
Friday, December 21, 2007

I would give most of everything, just to be seen in a different light.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 8:07 AM 0 comment(s)  

Just Click For A Better Look.
Thursday, December 20, 2007

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 12:59 AM 0 comment(s)  

The Eternal Struggle.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007

The eternal struggle.

Where even in the hours of sleep, our fists fly through the air, slamming hard against the soft, rosy cheeks we once had. And we wake from our dreams with our bodies drenched in sweat, to find none but ourselves - alone, lying on the floor, our eyes fixed on the barren ceiling above us. Though now back to reality, our bodies are without energy.

Our eyes are bloodshot red.
Our fists are clenched.
And we are bleeding. Profusely.

Though we lie on safe ground, our minds are perched on the very edge of a chasm, so quietly screaming at us to take that one step forward, and plunge to what would most certainly be our end. We cry. We assure ourselves that we still have a grasp on ourselves, that we are capable of restraint. But the almost unseen movement of our feet - forward - contradicts everything we think we are.

Trip. Fall. Fall! Break every bone in our bodies, for there is no more pain. Cover the land in our flesh and pray our blood serves the thirsty, wait for the vultures to peck at the remains of our existence.

And when, wake up.

No, it hasn't ended. No, it didn't just begin.
We're still there. On that edge.
It'll happen. Soon enough.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 5:56 PM 0 comment(s)  

The Space Between.
Thursday, December 13, 2007

The Space Between
Where you're smiling high
Is where you'll find me if I get to go
The Space Between
The bullets in our firefight
Is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you
The rain that falls
Splash in your heart
Ran like sadness down the window into...
The Space Between
Our wicked lies
Is where we hope to keep safe from pain

The Space Between
What's wrong and right
Is where you'll find me hiding, waiting for you
The Space Between
Your heart and mine
Is the space we'll fill with time
The Space Between...

- The Space Between, by The Dave Matthews Band -

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 11:56 PM 0 comment(s)  

One Rainy Day.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007

A moment of understanding. Of realization.

A hug here. A kiss there. Hands waving in the air, in the quiet most hide their despair. Feet shuffle restlessly - each to its own beat, though all to the same rhythm. Among the silent crowd a tune hums - a goodbye, the first. A goodbye, the last.

Her presence is felt, and slowly she steps away. Watch on, there she walks. Watch on, there she stops. A quick glance back, a gentle smile. One last hand to the air, one last form of acknowledgment. And soon she is gone. From sight, not from heart.

Some fight hard to hold themselves together. Some break down, allowing the tears to stream ever so slowly down their faces. All for the presence of someone, of soon would become nothing but a memory. Though time would tell that one day all will be whole once again - that she may once again walk among us, laughing as she should be - it wouldn't ever be the same.

For now another has taken her away from us. And should we mourn the loss of that presence that we so needed before? No, maybe not. She isn't gone - not forever.

One day we'll share hugs again. One day we'll share laughs again.
One day you'll be standing with us again, if even for a mere moment.

We're waiting.

We're all waiting.

Goodbye Ila. May Egypt be kind to you. We didn't know each other as long as I would have liked, but it was a great time altogether. I'll be waiting to hear from you soon.

Soon.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 11:18 PM 1 comment(s)  

Memory.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Everyday, I forget a little bit more. At the end of this, I won't have much to remember. And then I'll be back where I started.
A lot more to lose, nothing much to regain.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 6:52 PM 0 comment(s)  

Rootless Tree.
Sunday, November 25, 2007

I'll let the video do the talking for me.



This is the version that they recorded under the "Live from Abbey Road" program. I think it's the best version I've heard. And Lisa Hannigan... a simple yet haunting beauty. Beautiful song.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 5:49 PM 0 comment(s)  

A Window To The Soul.
Saturday, November 24, 2007

If you took the time to gaze into your own eyes through the mirror, would you say you are much the same person you believed yourself to be?

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 11:52 PM 0 comment(s)  

One Moment To Last A Lifetime?

One might review one's surroundings, and should the falling leaves coax him into pondering...
... did those bonds break apart because they were never close enough, or because they were too close?

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 11:23 PM 0 comment(s)  

Hush.
Thursday, November 22, 2007

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 8:15 PM 0 comment(s)  

When you see it...
Tuesday, November 20, 2007

... you will shit bricks.

I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself. Freaky squirrel! Hahaha!
Seriously. Freaky squirrel.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 8:16 PM 0 comment(s)  

Something Like New.
Monday, November 19, 2007

Well well. My laptop has been reformatted. Gone are all the troubles that were plaguing it before. Thankfully, my music files were saved from being erased. If they were erased, I'd be a walking zombie. Although, music files which were saved in the "My Received Files" folder are all gone. I hope I didn't lose too much from there.

Unfortunately, my collection of images are no more! Gone are my many motivational and inspiring images. Gone is Jamal and his rocket launcher. Sadness.

Meh.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:07 PM 0 comment(s)  

A Return to Love.
Sunday, November 18, 2007

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously
give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

A Return To Love - Marianne Williamson

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 8:09 PM 0 comment(s)  

DMB.

I'm gonna share two videos with you today, both music videos of the Dave Mathews Band performing live at Central Park, New York.
The first video is titled Stay (Wasting Time), and is an awesome feel good song. The lyrics are great (I believe I posted it up some time ago), and watch for the scat by Dave Matthews during the later part of the song.



The next song is titled Ants Marching, and yea - I've posted the lyrics on this blog before too. It's a good song: the intro is incredibly simple, but very captivating. Hope you like it. Just spreading the love for DMB :P



The only problem with these two vids is that the bass isn't easily heard. Even if you concentrate hard, it might not be recognisable. Too bad - DMB's bassist is incredible, and the bass line for these two songs are pretty darn sweet.

Rawr.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 12:33 PM 0 comment(s)  

The Beginning of an End. The End of a Beginning.
Saturday, November 17, 2007

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 1:38 PM 0 comment(s)  

Final decision.

Screw the layout. The words and ideas are the only important things here.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 1:23 PM 0 comment(s)  

It's worth the laugh.
Friday, November 16, 2007

I'm a fool, playing a losing game.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:21 PM 0 comment(s)  

Virus.
Thursday, November 15, 2007

Needless to say, I am fucking pissed. So if anyone knows what's good for them, they won't mention the bloody thing when they're around me.

Thank you and good night.

Edit: Before this post, I thought I had removed the virus. Turns out it wasn't removed completely. Now I've got to take more complicated measures to remove it. This might take a couple of days. In the mean time, don't expect to catch me on MSN.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 11:31 PM 0 comment(s)  

Again?

Exactly.

Another change. I've settled on this one. I haven't got down to working on the search function which is a part of the header. Will fix it soon.

Now, gonna go back to watching Kelsey Grammar's The Sketch Show.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 8:39 PM 0 comment(s)  

Ouch.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Fingering the bass guitar is a painful, yet pleasurable experience.
Thanks and "Go to hell you bloody bastard", Collin. These finger exercises are really helping/killing me.

Now back to the fingering.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 11:40 PM 0 comment(s)  

Hmm.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Alright, I think I'll stick to this layout for a while. I think it's rather neat.
Not as nice as the blue template I was using earlier though. But what the heck.

Since I'm done editing the templates and I've ironed out all the bugs... I guess I'll unlock the blog D:

Yea, I locked it because I didn't want anyone to read a half done blog o_o
One thing about this template though... the titles of the posts kinda look like they're continuing from the latest posts. Get what I mean? At the end of this post you're gonna read "Layout Change", and it's gonna seem like it's a part of this post. Annoying, but I'm too lazy to fix it. Get used to it.

Rawr. o_o

Edit: Why is the last message on my chatterbox from April?? o_o Dangit.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 1:11 PM 0 comment(s)  

Layout Change.
Monday, November 12, 2007

Using a different layout now (temporary). The last one I used (the blue/black one) was giving me trouble, so I had to change it.
Good thing I'm fairly free - at least it'll allow me some time to find out what's wrong and try to fix it. Or maybe even find a different template. Haha.

Meh.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 10:37 PM 0 comment(s)  

New Layout.

Like the change? I know I do.
But it seems like it takes a lot longer to load compared to the previous layout. This could be due to my horrible connection tonight though. I think I'll leave it as it is for a while, and garner some feedback on the use of the current lay.

Whee :D

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 1:05 AM 2 comment(s)  

I'll admit...
Saturday, November 10, 2007

... that smile is everything I need to get me through the day.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 8:59 PM 0 comment(s)  

Double Take.
Friday, November 9, 2007

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 11:09 PM 3 comment(s)  

Festival of Lights.

It's a little late (didn't have the time to get on the Internet yesterday), but what the heck.

A. Dewind wishes everyone a Happy Deepavali.
Cheers :)

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 12:25 PM 0 comment(s)  

Clickity Click.
Thursday, November 8, 2007

If you know what's good for you, you'll be quiet and click the image above. Just do it. Muahaha!

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 12:29 AM 1 comment(s)  

Steady As We Go.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007

As big of a fan of Dave Matthews that I am, I'll admit that I haven't listened to all their songs (despite having every single one). I turned on shuffle music for my Dave Matthews music, and it was then that I stumbled across this song: Steady As We Go.

The piano was what captivated me at the start. And then the words, and the way Dave sang it... Blissful. Ha ha. As opposed to the other works of Dave Matthews, this is musically mild. But nonetheless, it's worth a listen.
You can download the song from me by clicking here.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:39 PM 0 comment(s)  

Tired Lungs.

Completed one exam today. Woohoo. I guess... wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I might have a chance of passing. But I'm not really gonna expect anything. Should I put hope into it? Maybe not. Maybe I'll be better off without it.

Took my friend up on an offer to follow him and his band mates to go jamming, and be their vocalist (as their vocalist had just left the group) for the session.
(I should have been with Aliff, Weng Chi, Thilagan and Victor at McDonalds studying. But noooo.... Adam is kind of an idiot.)

I sang my heart out. It felt good to sing aloud - usually whenever I sing in the presence of other people, I'd restrain myself, so as not to call attention to anyone around (or just hurt their ears :P). And if you restrain yourself from singing to your best, the song/music usually isn't done any justice, as your heart isn't fully into it.

But yea. Ha ha.

Was offered to join their group as their vocalist. As great as it was, I had to decline. I would've loved to join them, but if I do join any band, I would prefer to be in one with the people closer to me. Ha ha.
At one point, when the drummer left to use the toilet, I took his place and played up a beat (mind you, I'm pretty much an amateur when it comes to drumming. I can hold a beat, but nothing too fancy). The guitarist quickly followed with a tune by Incubus, namely "Drive". Was fairly enthusiastic, as that song didn't require "mad skillz", and I could easily play it on the drums. Just as the verse was about to begin, the idiots said they didn't know the lyrics to the song. Ahahaha. As it would be said in Malay: "Potong Stim".

I knew the lyrics though. Heh heh heh.

So we played the song. And three others. All the while with me drumming, AND as lead vocals. What the bloody hell? It was only today that I learned how tiring it was (physically and mentally) to drum and sing songs at the same time. Four songs back to back can be quite a pain. Ha ha.

Good fun...

Damnit. Screw the drums. I should be playing the bass (my bass guitar is rotting at home, I swear). Collin! After Deepavali. Let's start classes! :O I know I've got MAAAD SKILLZ inside me, waiting to be released. Ha ha ha!

Speaking of which, Deepavali is around the corner! I'm fairly excited. Got plans to go to Thilagan's house on that day, followed by Kumar's. Then I'm leaving to go spend some time with my best friend Guna and his family. Haven't seen that bull in a while. Would be incredibly good to see him again and just forget about college.

Woohoo!

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 7:05 PM 0 comment(s)  

20 to 11.
Sunday, November 4, 2007

First final exam is the day after tomorrow. And yet I sit here, typing out this post just to fill my time.
I should be browsing through my notes right about now. I should. I just don't have the energy or the motivation to do so.
Am I prepared for the coming exam? No.
Will I be able to prepare myself just enough for it? Highly doubt it.
Am I going to fail? For the first time since Chen's class in the 3rd semester, I truly believe so. In fact, I believe it more now than then. Unlike the previous semesters, this time I'm not gonna be able to keep my head up high and jokingly brag about my intelligence to my friends (ha ha).

Do miracles happen to people like me? Undeserving as I am, I secretly wish so.
I'll know soon enough.

On a side note: Sometimes I wish my eyes saw you differently. Then maybe I wouldn't be this way.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 10:27 PM 0 comment(s)  

Your Song.
Saturday, November 3, 2007

It's been a while since I took the time to sit back and enjoy this song. Originally debuted in the 1970s, this is by far (in my opinion) Elton John's best. Hard to believe that even after all these years, I still adore this song - the seemingly simple tunes of the piano; the beautifully written lyrics.
So here I share with you, one of the more recent versions of "Your Song", sung by Elton John, with the vocal aid of Alessandro Safina. Enjoy.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:18 PM 0 comment(s)  

Final examinations next week.

Just playing time against my troubles. Just playing time.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 11:20 PM 0 comment(s)  

.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 10:28 PM 0 comment(s)  

Tears.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Adam: I get tears rolling down my cheeks every time I yawn.
Victor: ... it shows you should cry more often.


The fan spun ever so slowly over me. I lay in bed, my eyes probing the ceiling for anomalies.
The song I so adored played in between my ears.
Victor's words swirled in my head.

"... it shows you should cry more often."

I was there as the tears of some of my friends flowed freely down their cheeks.
I have sat at my seat as others lamented about other friends cry their hearts out.
Some say crying is for the weak.
That it doesn't show strength.
A lack of resolve.

I've always said I saw it in a different light.
Being able to cry in the presence of others, or even in solitude, is something I've always thought only the brave and bold could do. Only those who cared enough, who had enough resolve to lead themselves through the tiring times had the ability to cry.
Some have told me of how it is such a weird way of looking at things.
We each have our opinions and experiences.

I haven't cried in a long time.
And there have been so many moments in the past year where my mind, body and soul just screamed for the tears to flow.
But it never did.
Nothing flows.
I feel so hopeless, so angry, so depressed at times that I anticipate my face to be covered in that cold liquid. But somehow or another, that which I want most is something that can never come to light.

I'll tell you one truth: I envy those that can cry. Crying helps. A moment of respite from that which has choked us of the breath we so dearly need.

Still I stare to the ceiling. I feel the wave come upon me, the walls behind my eyes ready to break down and drown my cheeks. Then I close my eyes for a moment... and the wave pulls away, leaving me wide eyed, with not a tear to shed.

Not an emotion to stir.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:27 PM 0 comment(s)  

Land Barons.
Sunday, October 28, 2007

I like the sound of that.

De Wind or Dewind?

Originally De Wind - mis-documentation over the years caused the name to "evolve" to Dewind. Because there was a lack of initiative to change it back, and because it seemed rather... unique, the name stayed.

For the past two years or so, my uncle has been working with a De Wind from America in tracing down the family line. After much research, they've finally made a breakthrough in connecting the De Winds all over the world.

After digging through the history of the De Winds in Malaysia, my uncle found out that our family line were prominent people in Melaka. We were, as this post's title is: Land Barons.

During the Dutch occupation in Melaka, the state was divided into four sections. And I was surprised to learn that the De Winds owned one section. In other words, a quarter of Melaka.

Wow?

Now, I knew that my ancestors were highly ranked among the Dutch, but to have been the ones who ruled over a quarter of Melaka is something bigger than I expected.
The De Winds lost their part of Melaka when the British colonized the state, but were promised that the land would go back into their hands as soon as the British ceased ruling. However, when the British gave up their rule, the De Winds were told that the land matter was something that needed to be pursued with the Malayan government, as the British no longer had power over it.
The Brits screwed the De Winds over. Ha ha.

But anyway. The De Winds from America (there are only 2 remaining De Wind families there, both of which migrated from Malaya after the British occupation) have gone so far as to settle this in court with the Malaysian government. Of course, we all know well enough that the Malaysian government won't give the land back, so in all fairness there should be compensation on behalf of the De Winds, yes? Yes.
The Malaysian government agreed to compensating the De Winds, as all the appropriate documents stating the rightful owners of the land are in place. However, they've only agreed to paying the De Winds the value of the land during the De Winds' occupation there - priced at 5,000 USD during the year 1820.
Lawyers are still trying to work things out. The land is worth tens of millions as of now. And my immediate family has a large share of it. Imagine, if the Malaysian government were to pay us our due... My family would be millionaires :D

Edit: Correction. The land is worth billions.

But it's all just a distant dream for now. It's good to know though, that I come from a family which held so much power before. Gives more meaning to why I have so much pride in the name De Wind.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 10:20 PM 1 comment(s)  

Seeing Without Looking.

There are two reasons to why I take off my glasses whenever I'm awake: to give my face a little freedom; to look at everything as a blur.

Because sometimes having a clear vision over things is torture on your mind, body and soul.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 2:19 AM 1 comment(s)  

The Tourney.
Saturday, October 27, 2007

Today was amazing.

Managed a top 20 finish. 19th to be exact. Far exceeded our expectations. Guess who we lost to? The WCG team.
The level of play demonstrated today was incredible. Trust me when I tell you this: you may be able to dominate a public game on clients like Blueserver and whatnot, but you wouldn't fare the same in these powerfully orchestrated team battles. The players of this league are a whole different level.

I'd type down every detail of the day here, but I'm sure 99% of the people reading this blog wouldn't understand (or care about) the matches.
Gained a lot of experience, and had a huge blast. I'll be waiting for the next one.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 10:07 PM 0 comment(s)  

One Sweet World.
Friday, October 26, 2007

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 1:12 AM 1 comment(s)  

Public Service Announcement.

For everyone's information, before today:

Kimberley thought King Kong was real.

Thank you for your attention.
This post was brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 12:21 AM 0 comment(s)  

You know you...
Wednesday, October 24, 2007

... play WRC: Rally Evolution (WRC 5. I've upgraded.) too much when:-

1. You don't want to wash your car because the dirt on it makes it look like it just completed a rally.
2. You hear imaginary voices, telling you "Three, turns into two, junction right. Caution, road slippery." while driving along the road. *
3. You divide your journey from home to college into sectors, and push yourself to beat yesterday's "fastest time".
4. You imagine yourself driving a Skoda Fabia Rally on a track against Citreons and Subarus, when in actual fact you're driving a 2 year old Proton Satria against a few Kancils and a three-legged dog.
5. You try not to hit people on the side of the road simply because you don't want to have your race time penalized.
6. You actually look at yourself and come up with this nonsensical list.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 6:40 PM 1 comment(s)  

I'm getting a little tired of keeping up with some people's whims and fancies.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 10:24 PM 0 comment(s)  

Weary Feet.

I'm standing right here, and I can see clearly where I need to go next. I know exactly how to take my steps, I know exactly how to start treading the ground ahead.

But I'm hesitant. The road ahead is paved in gold, the trees that line it sway rhythmically to the gentle song of the wind, and everything I need lies in wait for me at the end of it.
Everything seems perfect.

I'm not ready for it. And so I think I'll stand here a little while longer and admire the view.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:31 PM 0 comment(s)  

Cornering on gravel.
Thursday, October 18, 2007

I am excited to inform everyone that I'm playing WRC 4 for the PS2 xD
It's an old game, but the technicality and challenge of the game makes it worth playing.

Games like Need For Speed and Gran Tourismo have never really appealed to me, strictly due to the fact that more often than not, players play to obtain more cars... and from there, race them on the same tracks over and over again.
Now, WRC 4 is pretty much the same, with one exception: you may play a single track a hundred times, but the result and your control of the car/track will never be the same. This is the one aspect I love most about WRC: the unpredictability. With games like NFS and GT, once you've played a track 3 or 4 times, you're pretty much set. It's always the same: the way the corners are taken, the position of your car on a long straight, the right speed. I say: BORING.

Seriously speaking, if you want a racing game that requires a good measure of skill, and gives you a new experience to tackle everytime you load a map/track, then the WRC series games are for you.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to continue driving my Skoda Fabia over that gravel laden terrain.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 11:15 PM 0 comment(s)  

Break.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Why do I keep throwing punches, when my fists won't stop bleeding?
I'm punching air, yet every swing hurts my arms.
I'm fighting a winning battle, but I'm the only one with broken bones.
I know where I stand, where my next step is, yet I keep tripping over my own feet.

My fists just won't stop bleeding.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 10:14 PM 0 comment(s)  

Brown Leaf.
Monday, October 15, 2007

As I sat gazing into my late grandfather's grave, I couldn't help but hear the soft murmurs of my mother, grandmother and aunts as they said a small prayer for him. Having thrust religion aside for some time now, I couldn't bring myself to cite the Al- Fatihah like everyone else. I spoke to him with my heart - I asked that he forgive whatever wrongs I may have committed, to him or any member of the family, and most importantly I asked him to watch over my family, give them the strength that they need to get through whatever trying times that they may face.

I tried to ask for something for myself, but the words just didn't seem to form.

As everyone got up and left, I took a moment to look around.
This cemetery...

... a place where the dearly departed are buried, a place where memories of sorrow and joy are easily rekindled in the mind's eye, a place where people choose to bury moments that will never come while striving to get up and move on...

... this very cemetery, seemed so perfect.
It has always seemed to me, that whenever I visit a graveyard, I find the place so unnaturally soothing. It's as though the rest of the world isn't even a part of it. Here the trees sway gently in the cooling breeze, the clouds roll by ever so gracefully. The birds sing a humble song, the earth so soft it cushions every step taken.

And in that few moments spent there, there's a feeling inside that tells you everything is just as it is. No matter what may go wrong on the outside, this cemetery will remain untouched, unaffected.

Cemeteries have always been one of the few places where I can enter a state of relaxedness that I can't find even in my own home. Sounds morbid, doesn't it?
Maybe because I've always been so... fascinated with death.
So much so that I constantly wake up to recurring dreams of myself dying. I sometimes wonder: how would things be like when I'm dead?
Will they mourn my death, or celebrate my departure?
Will they remember me for what I did, or for what I didn't do?
Will they keep my memory alive, or strive to forget me?

So many questions. One can only wonder if one's existence has ever had more positive than negative impacts on anyone around.
And what else of death? While I may question the deeds of the future for those around me, I also question the very thing about death: what happens when death comes?
Do we turn to be nothing but a cold body under turned soil? Is there anything after death?
Does Heaven and Hell really exist? Or are they merely fictional places designed by the fickle human mind, in the hopes of instilling enough hope and fear into people that they may carry themselves as a strong-willed society, righteous in almost every deed?
I guess this is where religion comes back into the fray. But that's for another time.

Tread not a road with eyes shut - moving blindly is but a walk of misdirection with the hope of capturing that which can't be seen.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 3:16 PM 0 comment(s)  

Celebration.
Friday, October 12, 2007

A. Dewind wishes everyone a Selamat Hari Raya.
Have a good weekend people :)

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 10:26 PM 1 comment(s)  

Intelligence -1, Stupidity +1.
Monday, October 8, 2007

I spent the last two weeks wondering where the hell the other options went to. Even went so far as to think Firefox was having trouble with Blogger, so I used IE to check if the options were available. Damn it.

I feel so bloody stupid right now =_="
I have to wonder why I never bothered checking on those two tabs. Freaking fail. Fail?







Fail.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 11:55 PM 0 comment(s)  

Boss, title satu. Kasi "witty" lebih.
Sunday, October 7, 2007

... I've been listening to Korean Hip Hop/Pop D:
Gasp.

This is my brother's work. The volume is always set so high, I end up hearing the songs even when I don't want to.
But nice la.
Epik High. Nice. Really. I LIKE. MUAHAHAHAX.
This post comes after...

(.. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday...)

... 5 days, and all I have is this?? D: Somebody slap me.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 8:12 PM 1 comment(s)  

#100.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007

I guess it's true.
I've turned into one of the most ignorant bastards around. And it was all my choice.

Being happy because there was a frustration and sadness that I didn't want to see.
Being carefree because there were troubles I didn't want to bear.
Sleeping because I didn't want to be awake.

Fuck.

Forgive me.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 11:01 PM 0 comment(s)  

Everything's alright because I can't put my finger on what's going wrong.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 8:57 PM 0 comment(s)  

You Know I'm Right.
Sunday, September 30, 2007

Yes, that's how awesome I am. Now, shut up and chant this mantra:
"Awesome is Adam."
Say it 7 times before going to bed every night, and I promise you that you will not see any significant change in your life from doing so.

Awesome, no?

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 11:25 PM 1 comment(s)  

Something Unusually Funny.

Lines from Star Wars that could be improved If the word "pants" was substituted.

1. A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt this was in the presence of my old master.

2. You are unwise to lower your pants.

3. We've got to be able to get some reading on those pants, up or down.

4. She must have hidden the plans in her pants. Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally Commander.

5. These pants may not look like much, kid, but they've got it where it counts.

6. I find your lack of pants disturbing.

7. These pants contain the ultimate power in the Universe. I suggest we use it.

8. Han will have those pants down. We've got to give him more time!

9. General Veers, prepare your pants for a surface assault.

10. I used to bulls-eye womp-rats in my pants back home.

11. TK-421. . . Why aren't you in your pants?

12. Lock the door. And hope they don't have pants.

13. Governor Tarkin. I recognized your foul pants when I was brought on board.

14. You look strong enough to pull the pants off of a Gundark.

15. Luke. . . Help me take...these pants off.

16. Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your pants.

17. That blast came from those pants. That thing's operational!

18. Don't worry. Chewie and I have gotten into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.

19. Maybe you'd like it back in your pants, your highness.

20. Your pants betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for your sister!

21. Jabba doesn't have time for smugglers who drop their pants at the first sign of an Imperial Cruiser.

22. Yeah, well short pants is better than no pants at all, Chewie.

23. Attention. This is Lando Calrissean. The Empire has taken control of my pants, I advise everyone to leave before more troops arrive.

24. I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.

25. You came in those pants? You're braver than I thought.

26: I've got a bad feeling about pants.

27. "Stop that." "Why?" "My pants are dirty." "My pants are dirty too."

28. *whining* But I was going into the Toshi station to pick up some pants.

29. I will not condone a course of action that leads us to pants.

30. Obi-Wan once thought as you do. You don't know the power of pants.

31. Do or do not. There is no pants.

32. I am your pants.

33. Pants you I can. Mmmhmm.

34. The pants...remember your failure in the pants!

35. I am altering the pants. Pray I do not alter them any further.

36. Well, Your Worship, it looks like you arranged to keep me in your pants for a while longer.

37. Put Captain Solo in the cargo pants.

38. Uhhhhh.....had a slight pants malfunction. But.....fine..... everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine......How are you?

39. How do you get so big eating pants of this kind?

40. Sorry sweetheart, haven't got time for pants.

41. They are using a very primative dialect, but I do believe that they think I am some sort of pants.

42. Pants not make one great.

43. Anakin, sitting on a beach w/ Amidala: Don't yah hate pants?

44. Use the pants, Luke!

45. May the force be with pants.

46. But i just wanted to get some power pants!

47. These pants smell worse on the inside than they do on the outside!

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 12:05 AM 1 comment(s)  

When standing still causes too much pain; Let loose, unload - it's time to move on.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 8:33 PM 0 comment(s)  

A dying person's view on the beauty of life can be an incredible eye opener.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 6:53 PM 0 comment(s)  

This will not make sense.

Whut day iz it? Saturday?

.
..
...
....
.....
....
...
..
.

.... NAAAAAAAAWWWW!!!
It r CATURDAY!! Nowz I'z gunna post sum catz.
Pics!


Iz eatin me! Noezzzzz!!
Yeaazz I'z got out now. Buuuut I fell down againz Dx


Lul now guess whut I r...

Ish so funneh. U'z get da joke? Geddit? Geddit? Lulz plzkthx.
Okiez! Iz enough cats for todayz. Need be keeping moaaarr for next Caturday, amirite? Till then~...












Bai!

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 1:14 PM 2 comment(s)  

Itty Bitty Stress.

Alright, screwed up the chance for a loan because of my view on certain political issues. Screw that. I'll have to work on things differently now to get another loan. Damn damn damn.

Another issue I'm having trouble with is re-enabling my task manager. Despite all the modifications I've done to the registry files, the task manager still doesn't seem to show. Looks like I'll be trolling a few tech forums for the next few days in search of a solution.

Damn you viruses. Damn you Windows XP.
DAMN YOU ALL!! :(

Extra: I like this font :D Makes my blog posts easier on the eyes. To me, that is. Hmmhmm.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 12:05 AM 0 comment(s)  

Mhm.
Thursday, September 27, 2007

... Registered for Facebook yesterday.
Activated the account today, and edited my profile and whatnot. I did this because I was incredibly bored.

Someone was telling me that Facebook was nothing like Friendster/MySpace - supposedly more mature. After browsing through what it had to offer - I sat on my couch, questioned myself over why I didn't go with my first gut-instinct that told me these sites were a mistake for me.
Facebook and the word "Friends" sparked a few thoughts in me.

But I think we've all had enough of those supposedly "deep" and emo-ish posts I've had on this blog lately. Right? So I'll leave it in me for another day. Or maybe for never at all.

DotA tournament coming up in my area. Guna's invited me. He and I, with three others? My goodness, not to brag... but we would've pretty much sealed our victory just by signing up. Should I? Not sure if it's still running though. Haha. Kidding.

... He's not that good. :P

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 8:28 PM 0 comment(s)  

Words of Wisdom.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007

The more educated we are, the more the world becomes an unsafe place.
- Syuhaida Hidayah -

Something my cousin posted on her blog. Didn't think of things that way till she said it. So true, no?
And it doesn't just apply to the safety of our surroundings. In a way, it applies to everything in life - the words we choose to speak, the days we dictate with the smallest of actions, the fragile emotions we tread on.

Maybe what my cousin said is true: If we were to get rid of any education we ever received - life would be that much easier to go through.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 11:37 PM 0 comment(s)  

The Faceless Liar.
Monday, September 24, 2007

I lied.

I still hang in doubt about what I said I had figured out.
I didn't want questions. I'm typing this out now because I need to put it down somewhere. And in a way, I want to share.

It's difficult, really. I struggle everyday to make myself see things as it should be, not dream of what it could be. And therein lies the biggest problem: I'm a dreamer.
I want it to be real, but I won't take the steps to make it be.
I look around, and I see a dream that's almost impossible to come true. Others have set out with full force on the path I so delicately tread - and all I've seen of their efforts is failure.
There's a fine line between what things are now, and what I want things to be. And the blatant truth is, attempting to cross over will bring a whole lot more problems than I could ever wish for.

I may not show it, but I get so very jealous when I see someone with enough guts to take that step forward and try their luck at what they think could be. Granted, these people aren't in the same position I am - though it doesn't change the fact that they have the ability to do what I can't.

Are dreams meant to come true, or are they merely a token for me to ponder on, for my amusement in my loneliest of hours?
If I knew how the things around me worked, how the people around me thought - I swear, it would make my life so much easier. I'd know exactly what to do. And I wouldn't regret my actions.

But now I'll continue struggling.
I've got to see things as it should be.
Not dream of what it could be.
Either way, I come out of this as one who has lost. And I know one thing for sure - accepting this loss is something that will be far harder than anything I'll be able to expect.

* I'm not expecting anyone to understand what it is I'm talking about - I worded this post in a manner which I'm positive will conceal enough of what it it is I'm facing. Bingo on the wordplay.
** I'm beginning to hate driving that lonely road down home. Stirs too many thoughts, evokes too many emotions. Sigh.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 6:34 PM 0 comment(s)  

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 6:17 PM 2 comment(s)  

Remember remember, the... 20-something of September... I think.
Friday, September 21, 2007

Hmmhmm.
I am bored out of my mind. In fact - so bored, that I decided to draw myself on Paint and caption the image with the word b---
You know what? I'll let the image speak for itself.

Damn. I know, I'm amazingly awesome.
Don't know why, but after visiting a blog belonging to one of Aliff's friends, I decided to click on a link she had there - Random Juice. Haha! Yes, that blog that Aliff, Collin and myself set out to create and discuss different issues relating to today's youth. Reading through the posts, I couldn't help but think...

... That blog couldn't be more dead. In fact... No wait, nevermind. I don't have any witty lines to add to that (damnit).

Quite depressing to see =___=" (eventhough I took myself off that blog almost immediately after I deleted my previous blog).

And now for a sudden change in topic.

The fasting month hasn't been kind to me so far. My sleeping pattern is completely off - sleeping at the usual time, but waking up far later. Shit. Nowadays I get up from sleep around 8 or 9am. That's late for my standards (considering I'm almost always up by 530am). There's a good side to it though - I don't get the usual 3 - 4 hour sleep as before. Now I have about 6-7 hours sleep daily. Woohoo! Bad thing is, I wake up with an ache in my neck. Gah! Remind me to get myself some new pillows, will you?

I was going to add more to this post, but then I realized I forgot what it is I wanted to add. My memory sucks. Seriously. Going downhill with each passing day T.T
On a related note...



... OK maybe it wasn't really related. By I just had to.
And some moment after that pic, I can tell what three girls thought:

Charlene: Ooohh rawr.... (Sigh. Charlene Charlene... I couldn't help myself xD)
Kimberley: ... Sick pervert. (If you can call me a pervert, it means you understood what the image was trying to imply! Esh esh esh.)
Gillian: ... Huh? (Blur case. But good la, not dirty minded. Haha >.>)

Adam Dewind, signing out!

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 11:46 PM 0 comment(s)  

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:49 PM 0 comment(s)  

Hahaha...
Yes, I am manipulative, deceitful even. A play of words, the twist of thoughts, the angles of perception. It's an unforgiving yet deliberate path; An art.

A call to greatness. Few will come to understand it; Most will come to fear it.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 10:00 PM 0 comment(s)  

Assignments?
Monday, September 17, 2007

Just checked out my Java assignment questions.

I have to say I'm fairly excited. :D
This looks like a proper challenge, something I can work on - creatively and logically. My mind could use a little intensive, focused thinking.
Yes yes... definitely.

On a side note, here's another image from Adam's Vault-of-weird-Images (that's VowI to you).


I laughed. :D

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 10:22 PM 0 comment(s)  

F1 Spy Saga.
Sunday, September 16, 2007

... Damn you McLaren. This is one fan you've disappointed.
I won't be following your progress for the rest of the season.
Just when I thought my favourite team could win the constructor's championship.

... I think I hear my father laughing. Sigh.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 8:01 PM 0 comment(s)  

... so staring is good?

Is it also good for women's health?
It would explain why you're always staring. Yes you, sis. Ha ha ha.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 5:59 PM 3 comment(s)  

Sing.
Friday, September 14, 2007

Ever listened to a song, and realized that it was the one song you felt you could connect to the most?
A song that could at any time evoke forgotten emotions in you, a song that could throw you into the arms of sorrow even in the happiest of times, or embrace you with joy even a moment of utter despair? Everyone has a song that means the most to them.
Most know what mine is. Obviously, "#41" by The Dave Matthews Band.
Collin just shared with me a video of them performing this song for the victims of the Virginia Tech shooting. This one was done with John Mayer as the leading guitarist. In fact, this performance is fairly recent.
Awesome stuff.

Enjoy.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 10:13 PM 0 comment(s)  

It's that day of the year.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007

It's that day.
September the 11th.
A few years back, a horrible tragedy unfolded in America, claiming thousands of innocent lives.
People died.
Lives were wrecked.
Homes broken.
The world was torn apart under the destructive wake of terrorism.

Today, we put our hands together and pray. And we remember.
We remember how it happened.
We remember why it happened.


... HAHAHAHA!

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:46 PM 0 comment(s)  

Booyah #2.
Monday, September 10, 2007

I decided to let off some steam by finding fault and arguing with some random ball-licker on a forum. It's so funny the way this guy tried so hard to piss me off just because I didn't share one of his interests. I'd link the thread, but it's been deleted from the forum. And I've been banned for flaming.
Sheesh.


When people take stupid things so seriously...


... I become a little stressed.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 11:01 PM 0 comment(s)  

Mmm.

Just when you thought bridges were safe.
Think again, idiots.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 12:02 AM 0 comment(s)  

Absence.
Thursday, September 6, 2007

Pretending everything is fine is an invitation to a disaster.
- A. Dewind -

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 10:36 PM 0 comment(s)  

Delayed Dreaming.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Tired are my shoulders, restless as can be

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 11:20 PM 1 comment(s)  

Say Goodbye.
Monday, September 3, 2007

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:37 PM 0 comment(s)  

Ants Marching.
Sunday, September 2, 2007

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:42 PM 1 comment(s)  

The whistling winds.

Damn. It's been three days.
My back still hurts.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 3:34 PM 0 comment(s)  

# Seventy Something.
Saturday, September 1, 2007

Fairly irritating when things don't go your way.
Fairly irritating indeed.

When you try to do something, and despite everything being laid out properly, something random that you have no control of whatsoever gets in the way, disrupting whatever it is you were planning on doing.

Fairly irritating.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 4:35 PM 0 comment(s)  

Hah.
Friday, August 31, 2007

If anyone were to sit down for a while and look at me while I'm listening to the Dave Matthews Band on my iPod, I'm pretty sure many would think I was crazy.

One second, I'm expressionless as I listen to "#41".
The next, I'm smiling away as my mind is soothed by the incredible composition of "Stay".
After which my eyes gaze far into nothing, as "Digging a ditch" plays in my ears.
And before you know it, I've got a simple smile pasted across my face, as I reminisce on days gone by with the song "Say goodbye".

Gah.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 10:41 PM 0 comment(s)  

Goodbye Goodbye.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:56 PM 1 comment(s)  

Nyao~...
Tuesday, August 28, 2007

... As hard as I try, I realize I'll never be able to magically scroll my mouse so that the pointer will actually come upon my keyboard.

That's how lazy I am right now. I didn't want to move my hand off the mouse to press the "I" key. Huzzah.

Staring at my Messenger window.
Looking at a specific someone's name.
Wanting to start a conversation.
But...
At the same time, I couldn't be bothered with saying much of anything to her.
Why?
Reasons I'll keep to myself.

Anyway. Here I am to do my many readers *coughasifcough* a favor by posting the link to...
... I Can Has Cheezburger!
Click here for kitty cat images with nonsensical captions. They have a few dogs, a couple of hamsters and rabbits, and one bucket-lugging walrus. Just check it out, yea? Some images are good for a laugh or two - if you're a simple minded fool like myself.

Aliff informed me yesterday about his friend's desire to get him and myself as bouncers for a prom (Taylor's College).
Don't know what the hell to say to that.
Haha. Just thought I'd bring it up because I'm running out of material for this post.
And I don't want to post a short one.
So...

._____________."

Now back to the simple-minded fools who read my blog (I know there are one or two of you out there). Here's a stupid video I found. Got it off a forum. And here's a tip: wait for the muscle bound freak to do a little aerobic dancing. I swear if you don't laugh yourself silly, you might have to get your head checked.

Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 10:31 PM 2 comment(s)