Me.
Bye Bye Blue Eyes Under Grey Skies.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
It's been a while since I surfed the Internet, thanks largely to the incompetence of Streamyx. I've been busy, and unfortunately I completely forgot to wish many people a Merry Christmas. I know it's late, but please accept my compliments of the season.
And of course, it's the 31st. So a special greeting is in order: Happy New Year everyone! I know, I'm a little early. But better now than... 2 weeks down the road?
Ha ha.
I'll see you guys soon, when (if is a bigger likelihood) I've got my connection running again.
***
I miss some things, some people - but I don't regret the decisions I've made.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 4:36 PM 0 comment(s)
An End Like Any Other.
Friday, December 19, 2008
I didn't realize till today that it's been a whole two weeks since my last post. I'm rarely away this long, unless I mention beforehand that I'd be on some hiatus. I guess my creative juices haven't been flowing as they should lately.
I'm almost three weeks into my last semester. A month and a half from now, and I'll be free from the IT Department.
Yearp. That'll be one successful outcome. Joy! I'm determined to get myself a HD for Calculus this semester - I failed it once, and if I retake it and get anything less... well, I'd be sorely disappointed with myself.
2008 is coming to an end. It's been a long and rough year for a lot of people, me included (obviously). It's been horrible for the most part, but I don't think I'll spend these last few days sitting around moping about what I've lost or the troubles I've faced. In fact, I want this year to end well, so I'll be making the most of my time doing whatever makes me happy, with the people that make me happy :D
Speaking of people that make me happy: I've not seen my foosball partner for more than a month now! I wonder how the happy Indian is. Last I called, Thilagan was on his way to Penang. Penang will be dry (of liquor) by Sunday. Not a joke. Still, laughing is in order. Ha ha!
And Collin! Ah. My other half (No, I'm not gay) from Rawang will be back in Malaysia on the 23rd. I've an erection just thinking about the stuff we'll be doing together (seriously, I'm not gay). We'll be drinking ourselves silly, that much I know (okay, maybe not me. I don't drink much. Really). Drinking with Collin and Thilagan is always a blast.
And now to make plans for New Year's Eve. I've got something in mind, and it only involves me and two significant others (no, it's not the two bumbling idiots I mentioned three sentences ago). Will have to talk to the two lovely ladies about it soon.
Huzzah.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 2:43 PM 1 comment(s)
Between Here And There.
Friday, December 5, 2008
I found her sitting comfortably in an open field - she wore a colourful, floral-patterned dress. Her hair billowed in the wind - it was a beautiful golden brown that captured the very essence of the morning Sun.
I knelt behind her, my hands firmly placed on her shoulders. Her skin was soft, flawless. The sweet, fragrant air about her made my senses dance, and I was filled with joy.
She turned and greeted me with a smile - a smile so beautiful that for a moment, I thought I'd died and was before the great gates of Heaven. Her eyes were warm and inviting - a thousand different pictures hidden behind them. And when she opened her mouth to speak, I knew then that there were a thousand stories behind it all.
All I wanted to do was listen. Her voice was like a breeze through a quiet forest - soft, soothing. She told me stories of the Hidden Rainbows, of the Shining Stars, and of the Singing Hills. I listened, and listened - with my head resting on her lap, her fingers running through my hair. I did die, and yes... I believed I was in Heaven.
She leaned forward, and kissed my forehead. She smiled again, and told me our time was at an end. At an end. She began to fade - I cried and begged her to stay a little longer, but our time wasn't our own. She held me, my eyes were closed in her comforting embrace. And then she was gone.
I opened my eyes to find myself lying alone, between the four walls of my bedroom.
A dream.
Just a dream.
It was a wonderful dream.
I slept well. So well.
And now I miss her.
I miss her.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 4:23 AM 0 comment(s)
Already I Miss It All.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
It won't be long before this familiar place is gone to me.
I'll be moving very soon. Away from Rawang, away from...
I've always wanted to be so much closer to it all - the people, the places, the laughs, the tears. Always. And now it's happening. I'm pleased. I'm excited. Yet... I feel a strange sense of depression creeping.
I've spent the last fifteen years here. These walls have seen me gain weight, they've seen me with and without hair on my head. They've heard me scream, they know my secrets. They've shared my smiles, and they've endured my angry fists.
So many memories were made in this very home.
The Japanese pine tree, the banana trees, the flowers all around. The green, white, beige and blue. I'll miss it all - the little things that I came home to, the little things that welcomed me into its warm, resting arms.
Living here felt like an eternity - but sometimes I think... eternity wasn't long enough. One castle for another. Goodbye, goodbye.
Goodbye.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 12:33 AM 5 comment(s)
Faulty Brakes.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
I remember being strapped to the seat, being told not to tell anyone about the moment then. It would be our secret. The excitement was mine to share, but the experience was for no one but me.
Sideways, up, down, over, and under. Spinning in circles, sliding across the dirt. The world was nothing but a blur then - the only thing that kept me from throwing up was the fact that my eyes were glued to the shifting gears, the quick footwork, and the constantly moving hands - it was like a dance, all of it.
The man behind the wheel? My father. In his youth he was a test driver - he knew all the tricks, and this was his way of showing me something he was once passionate about. He told me then that it wasn't about how fast you could go - it was about how well you could keep yourself together.
I believe it was then that I learned to love being in a car. From that day onwards, I had my eyes on everything my father did when he was driving - it was a quiet learning process.
I was nine then.
***
My father was right. It was never about going fast - control was the game of the day. Control was the game of the week, the month, and the year. Control was - IS - everything.
My rear tyres have not changed since I first got my car. That means I've been running on them for four years now. The car slides a little even when I take corners at a mere 50km/h. Dangerous?
Fairly.
I'll change the tyres soon enough. For now, I'm enjoying the fact that there's little grip in them. Shit happens every once in a while - the car could slide when I don't want it to, when I'm not ready for it. And that's why I enjoy it. As reckless as it is, moments like those take away control from me, and allows me a single, life-changing chance to fight and get it back. And when I do, I remember that everything is within reach. Everything. I am capable.
Sure, there are other ways - different methods that'll provide you with the same result. But then, we each have different mediums. Different solutions. This is mine.
Life's a highway. Faulty brakes and tar as far as the eye can see. I can't stop the car, but I sure as hell can lift my foot off the accelarator and slow things down. I'll die on the road, and I'll never reach my destination - but I'll know that the journey was perfect.
Of course, what would a 22-year old know about life? Only as much as he's been through.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 12:24 PM 0 comment(s)
Boxes And A Little Bit Of Imagination.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Boxes are awesome.
Seriously.
Especially those big empty fridge boxes. Ever played in one as a child? Crap... whenever the family bought something new and it had a huge box to go with it, my brothers and I would play with the damn boxes for days (sometimes weeks) on end. No, I am not kidding you.
It was fun!
What I wouldn't give to be half my size... so I can play in boxes again.
>_>
What?
My brothers and I are still pretty much children. We take our toy guns and run around the house pretending to be ridiculously-loud super spies every once in a while.
We wrestle with one another in the hall and pretend to have superhuman powers (I often call myself Plague! I emit an aura that makes everything around me lose it's life force). We take our nerdy card games and play against one another constantly.
We often create up new characters and let our imaginations run wild with movie ideas and game ideas.
I'm too much of a kid to be twenty-two.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 2:22 PM 0 comment(s)
Chocobos.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
I want a Chocobo. Or a Chocobo plushie.
Was just thinking of the game Final Fantasy 7 (old and incredible game), when the image of an overgrown yellow chicken came to mind (the Chocobo, duh).
Chocobos have been a part of every single Final Fantasy universe, and I'm thankful for that! What Final Fantasy game would be complete without the occasional "kweh!"? Hahaha!
For those of you that don't know, "kweh" is the sound a Chocobo makes. It's cute, trust me.
And then the games Chocobo's Dungeon and Chocobo Racing came to mind. Oh gosh, I played those games when I was so much younger. I loved exploring and looking for treasure in Chocobo's Dungeon, and I sure as hell loved racing and casting all sorts of spells on my opponents in Chocobo Racing.
Great games.
I want a Chocobo plushie :(
I'd put it in my car and bring it to bed with me. Seriously. I'm probably too old to sleep with it (also, seems a little creepy, no?), but what the heck.
I want a Chocobo plushie.
HAHAHAHA. I love them Chocobos.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 10:08 AM 0 comment(s)
Oh Bloody Hell...
Monday, November 10, 2008
... Katy Perry is so bloody attractive.
I know, I can't believe that I've only noticed now. But seriously - so attractive.
Her eyes and her smile remind me of someone though...
So attractive!
I might just be in love with her >_>
So attractive! *swoons*
I should shut up now.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 3:56 PM 1 comment(s)
Lie In Our Graves.
Friday, November 7, 2008
When you have a little more than 3GB worth of music from one particular band, you know very well that you've probably never listened to 70% of the songs there, though they may have played every once in a while, on your speakers or through those earphones, as you work on anything and everything.
As much of a fan of the Dave Matthews Band as I claim to be, I will admit here and now that of their 350 songs on my laptop, I've only listened to roughly... 60 songs? I use the word listen because it's not just a matter of hearing the music play - it's about understanding the song, feeling every beat pulsate through your body, allowing every key and every note to envelop you in a warmth that is only yours, and no one else's.
There are but a few songs that mean anything to me. Only a select few that have stirred enough of me to bring my eyes to a tear or two. I've highlighted two such songs on this blog many times - #41 by DMB, and Fire And Rain by James Taylor. In this moment today, I believe I have found myself one other - Lie In Our Graves, by DMB.
Ah. How do I describe the song?
Have you ever felt inspired and carefree, yet depressed and regretful at the very same time? It's a weird feeling, really. A little mix of Heaven and Hell... and sure enough, paradise is a place we're all living in.
That's what this song does to me.
It invokes old memories. It pulls every possible emotion in you to surface. It gives me everything I want, but holds from me everything I need. In its company I've found something which I have been looking for, though I have little clue to what it really is. Right here, right now... It's giving me something which even those closest to me can't offer.
Whether this song should remain this way to me for the years to come is a question I won't answer, but for now... It's come at the right time.
Even if I should cry tonight, I know I'd still be smiling.
For a moment, I felt like sharing the exact song here. Then I realized that putting up a 20-minute, 40MB song was likely to be an effort that would come to waste. If you're interested, look for the one from their concert at The Gorge, Washington - a 7 hour concert played over 3 nights. Amazing.
If only they'd stop visiting Australia and come to Malaysia instead.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 12:13 PM 0 comment(s)
Grace Is Gone.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Neon shines through smoky eyes tonight,
It's 2am, I'm drunk again,
It's heavy on my mind.
Where it ends, where I begin,
Like a river flowing through.
Excuse me please, one more drink.
Could you make it strong? Cause I don't need to think.
My grace is gone.
One more drink and I'll move on.
One drink to remember, another to forget.
'Scuse me please, one more drink.
Could you make it strong, I don't need to think.
My grace is gone.
One more drink and I'll move on.
Another drink and I'll be gone.
One more drink,
My grace is gone.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 11:18 PM 0 comment(s)
An End to Plugged Ears.
Monday, November 3, 2008
The F1 season has come and gone. Last night, stations around the world aired the final race of the season - one full of tension and expectations.
Lewis Hamilton won the Driver's Championship, making him the youngest ever F1 driver to win a championship. Ferrari, once again... drove home with the Constructor's championship.
I would've liked McLaren to win the constructor's instead - I'm not really bothered about the driver's championship. But you make the best of what you've got, no?
A hearty congratulations to Hamilton. Much deserved.
You know what I'm a little upset about? I completely forgot about the race last night.
That's right - I didn't watch it. I was greatly anticipating it (as all the races in this season have been wild and exciting), and at the end of the day...
Sigh.
And to think, I was up till 5am... with nothing to do.
Till next year.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 1:27 PM 0 comment(s)
A Tag Here, A Tag There.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 1:11 PM 2 comment(s)
Forsaking The Fireplace.
Monday, October 27, 2008
I've snow on my shoulders, and the stars shine on my back. I've left the room, and I can no longer feel the warmth of the fireplace. The door is locked, and I've thrown the key away.
It's been half a year since then. Half a year since I decided I was tired of the walls around me, half a year since I realised the couch I sat on was no longer comfortable.
And now I've got the stars on my back. I turn away to find the town bathing in the moonlight.
It's a beautiful sight. Warmer climate is just over the horizon.
There's laughter behind me. All too familiar. But tonight... tonight I know I'm never turning back.
I like where I am - even if I am strolling on without everyone else.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:36 PM 0 comment(s)
Silent Sigh.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 11:36 PM 0 comment(s)
Of Things To Come.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
I am a selfish, ignorant bastard.
We all are.
Most of us just think we're not.
I am at my limits. I don't say much because I feel my emotions and words are wasted on those who I feel are more ignorant than I am.
I am at my limits. I will not stand to see someone insult a part of my life. Do not take my silence for weakness, I have my reasons for not stabbing you with my tongue. Trust me, you don't want me to go that way.
If I ever see those tears flow again, or those hands tremble in frustration... I will stand against you. And I will humiliate you. You will hate me and we won't be the same, but I wouldn't care less - because I no longer care.
Don't believe me? Just fucking try me.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 12:27 AM 0 comment(s)
Celebrations.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
It's the morning of Raya, and I'm stuck here working on my assignment. I'll be off to work later, so that's about my plans for today. A little sad that I can't spend time with my family today, but I guess I can't take time off from my responsibilities - not today at least.
Ah well.
I'd like to take this time to wish everyone a Selamat Hari Raya. I apologise if I've ever hurt anyone (unintentionally of course. If I intended to hurt you than I wouldn't apologise for it) with my asshole-ism. If you don't like my apology, you can screw yourself. :D
Ok, no. Seriously.
Well... yea, that was serious enough. Assholeness: +1.
Hope everyone has a good time :)
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 11:45 PM 0 comment(s)
Singaporean F1 GP.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Amazing race.
While McLaren didn't do as well as I'd like, I'm still a fairly content man.
Alonso in first, followed by Rosberg and Hamilton (respectively). Only one McLaren finished with points (Hamilton), while both Ferraris went home with nothing.
Lots of unexpected events - Massa was robbed of a podium finish (likely a first place finish) due to a mistake on release from the pits. Once again, I feel bad for the guy - he raced well, didn't deserve such a mishap. I felt bad for Raikkonen too - he pushed hard to gain an advantage over Timo Glock, but it proved to be too much: he crashed out in fifth place, with only four laps remaining.
A McLaren fan feeling sorry for Ferrari drivers? Traitorous.
Surprise fifth place finish by Sebastian Vettel of Torro Rosso. This driver certainly has a very bright future ahead of him - he's been racing consistently well over the season, and he's driving in Torro Rosso! Before the race (two weeks ago), I would never have thought that Torro Rosso could end winning a race. But they did it. Amazing.
(For those who don't know: Torro Rosso bought over Minardi. Minardi was the worst team on the F1 scene, and Torro Rosso inherited that awful title for the past few years. But they've proven themselves to be a contender this season. One can do nothing but anticipate more from them this season and the next.)
McLaren is now officially at the top of the Constructor's Championship standings! Ha ha! Eat that Ferrari fans. Granted, we're only ahead of Ferrari by one point - but in this game, every single point counts.
This was one of the most exciting race throughout the entire season. Well done Singapore.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 10:09 PM 0 comment(s)
Anomaly.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
HAHAHAHAHA. Read the rest of the comic here. Caution: comic is vulgar and invasive. Translation: comic is awesome.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 5:02 PM 0 comment(s)
Flashbacks.
#41.
My favourite song by The Dave Matthews Band.
More than a year ago, I posted my thoughts (and lyrics) of the song here. Back then, troubles and emotions were different. Tonight, I sit here and I listen... I've learned to see the song in a different light; to interpret it differently. I remember the emotions it evoked back then, and today it is hardly any different.
The song is still relevant.
Wonderful.
It's sometimes a little hard to believe that more than a year has gone by since - time flies, doesn't it? Sometimes it feels like I posted lyrics to the song only a week ago.
Feels like only a week ago.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 1:46 AM 0 comment(s)
Holiday Workload.
Monday, September 22, 2008
I'm working on the first two days of Raya.
:(
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 8:16 PM 0 comment(s)
The Broken Hourglass.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Where have the days gone?
I spent almost the entire day with little clue of what day it was. I woke up in the morning thinking it was a Saturday - I saw today's newspaper on the table and realised it was Sunday.
And then shortly after, I thought it was Friday - only to be reminded by my mother about the actual day. And it continued that way for the better part of the day - I kept forgetting what day it was.
It just didn't feel like a Sunday. So many things felt out of place, everything seemed so different.
To think, I don't even remember Friday and Saturday going by... and we're already at the end of the weekend.
I keep looking at the clock, hoping that it would stop - maybe I'd just have another minute to myself. I want just another minute to myself. Why? Because it seems like everything is flying by so quickly.
Monday is merely a couple of hours away.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:24 PM 0 comment(s)
Seperti Suluhan Yang Terang.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
This is obviously not a new song. I've always liked the song, but only after watching the music video (a few weeks back) did my interest in the song increase. I thought the video was very well done, as simple as it is - it conveyed the song's message accurately, and with ease.
Takkan puas ku, mengiringi semua tawa dan tangisan mu,
Anggun wajahmu, pelita yg terang.
That's my favourite line in the song, and I'd argue that it's also the best line in it.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 10:00 PM 0 comment(s)
The Belgian F1 GP.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
As you can read from the title, this is going to be another one of those posts about how great a recent race was. If you're not interested in listening to me ramble on about one of my passions, the address bar is at the top of your screen.
Woot!
The race was a short 44 laps, and for the most part it was like any other race - a case of one car/team dominating another. But the start and end of the race was simply amazing.
The Start
Raikkonen proved to the world that he wasn't losing his spark, and he was still in the business to win. When the lights turned green, he shot off from fourth place into third place, both he and Massa (second place) left Hamilton (the race leader) with little room to breathe. And then it turned to a wheel to wheel fight for second place between the two Ferraris! Raikkonen proved his mettle and powered past his teammate Massa with superb skill to take second place. It was not long after that where he pushed past Hamilton to take the race lead! Amazing!
The Middle
It was a safe race at this point, nothing incredibly interesting happened here. Raikkonen kept his position with a solid five-second lead over Hamilton, with Massa not far behind in third place.
The End
Yes, in the final ten laps of the race, Hamilton started to pick up the pace, and he lowered the gap to a stunning 0.5 seconds to Raikkonen by the third-last lap!
It was on the second-last lap where things got bloody amazing. Hamilton pushed up to the side of Raikkonen, almost taking the lead from the Flying Finn. But Raikkonen proved too difficult to overtake because of the turn, but shortly after Hamilton made another go - with one swift manuever, he overtook Raikkonen and made it into first place! Raikkonen, being one who doesn't back off easily - pushed back, and it was a wheel-to-wheel race, till a minor mistake on the wet road forced Raikkonen off the track and into a wall, officially ending the race for him.
Hamilton played it safe then on, and with only one lap to go he steered his car to victory.
And while everyone was focusing on Hamilton and Raikkonen, Heidfeld surprised everyone when he flew in from fifth-place into third, at the final few turns of the very last lap!
Brilliant stuff! Simply brilliant!
People know that I'm a huge fan of McLaren, and being so it's easy to understand that I am not fond of Ferrari or its drivers. But Raikkonen has to be given credit for today, because he drove an amazing race. The final moments kept my father and I on the edge of our seats, and we were ecstatic with the way these two masterful race leaders raced one another. I am a little sorry for Raikkonen for not completing the race, but I'm sure he'll bounce back next week and give everyone a run for their money.
Formula One baby! Yea!! :D
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:37 PM 0 comment(s)
Sometimes Experience Isn't All That Great.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Picture this:-
You're traveling along the highway at a steady 110km/h. At a safe distance ahead of you, a Mercedes SLK drives along at about the same speed as you. There is a large lorry on the lane to your left (the middle lane), and a bus is driving ahead of that lorry.
Now the Mercedes SLK decides to jam on his brakes. Being a car of that level, it takes little time for that car to go from 110 to 0. So what can you do with a low end, unmodified, locally made car?
Here's a guide:-
- Drop from 5th gear to 2nd
- Listen to your engine scream
- Pray your gearbox doesn't break into a hundred pieces
- Pray your engine doesn't explode
- Accelerate (seriously)
- Turn left into the small opening between the lorry and the bus
- Quickly push from 2nd into 4th gear
- Continue turning left till you're on the third lane
- Scream like a schoolgirl
Now for a more indepth guide (step by step):-
-
Drop from 5th gear to 2nd. Your engine will scream bloody murder at this point - pray everything vital about your car stays intact. - Don't brake, just accelerate. See the opening between the lorry and the bus? That's where you need to go.
- Scream like a bloody schoolgirl.
- While making the turn, push from 2nd gear into 4th (your car should be more than halfway into the space between the lorry and the bus by now).
- Continue screaming like a schoolgirl.
- Keep turning left. The front, driver's side of your car will brush against the rear, left side of the bus.
- Don't stop screaming like a schoolgirl.
- When you're on the third lane, push into 5th gear and drive on like nothing happened.
- Please note that all of the following has to happen within a span of 2.5 seconds. This shouldn't be too much trouble if you enjoy driving on dirt roads at fairly high speeds, with cars that aren't even designed for such driving. Lucky you.
Now that all that is done with, here's what you need to do:-
- Check yourself into a hospital. Your heart rate should be through the roof, and you're likely to go into cardiac arrest soon.
- Kiss the ground, call your loved ones and tell them how much you love them.
- Send your car for immediate servicing.
- It's very likely you'll still be screaming like a schoolgirl 7 months after the incident, so seek psychiatric help.
- Thank Hotel Heaven/Hell's Beach & Resort Spa for not checking you in early.
I hope my guide helped. Remember: don't brake, just gearshift and accelerate.
Also: pray.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 11:21 PM 1 comment(s)
Measuring the Line Between This Life and the Next.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
I guess the time has come.
Though I've led most of my friends to believe otherwise, things haven't been great in my family. The past few months have been a huge struggle, and looking at things - it's highly likely that it's going to be the same for a while to come. And that is reason for today's post.
I've made the ultimate decision - I'm discontinuing my studies.
I will study up to the end of this year, from then which I will obtain my Diploma. I'll stop studying for my Degree, leave life as a student, and start a new life as a working man. This has been one of the hardest decisions for me to make, but it's the right one.
I'm doing this because, for one - I feel that I've been depending on my parents for too long now. And it's high time I took matters into my own hands. It's high time I started taking the necessary steps to go into complete independence - a life away from the comfort and security of my parents' finances.
Two - I'm doing this not just for myself, but for my family. I know that if I were to start my working life, I'd have more to provide to my parents, and I know that a lot of their burdens now will be lifted.
I still have the option (or maybe... the luxury?) of continuing my studies and depending on my parents - but I don't want the easy road out. It's going to be a hell of a lot more difficult for me, but in the long run - I know this is going to work out.
It has to work out. It will work out.
I plan on continuing my studies once I start working - I'll look into studying part time at a suitable university/college, and most likely pursue a Degree in Psychology (I've always had a deep interest in psychology). Granted, I know it's easier said than done, considering the amount of commitment I'll have as a working adult. But I made a promise to someone I am dearly attached to - a promise to continue studying (part time), and obtain (at least) a Degree.
My father wants me to continue studying, and he's told me many times not to worry about the family. He wants me to be successful, far more than he is (he doesn't consider himself much of a success). I've always thought that was impossible to achieve - I consider my father to be the most successful man I know. Too bad he doesn't know that.
But you know what? I may be starting out lower than many other people around me - but I'll tell everyone this, right here, right now: I'm going to be far more successful than any of you. This much I promise you.
And the people around me know - I never break a promise.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 10:04 AM 0 comment(s)
A Mental Vacation.
Monday, August 4, 2008
I've decided to take yet another break from blogging.
Blogging has helped me take a closer look into my thoughts, and understanding the many things that happen around me. But I feel for this moment, I need to get away and concentrate on other things - things that, for now, are more important and require more attention.
Till I've settled most of them, I will not be visitting this page, and I will not attempt to update it. I'll see you when I'm ready. Till then, you have my regards.
- A. Dewind
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 12:26 PM 0 comment(s)
Sitting Next To A Phone Booth Without A Coin To Spare.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Sigh. My internet connection is down, so I can't do the things I usually do. Thankfully, my newly downloaded Opera Mini is working beyond my expectations. When the advert said it worked just like your computer browser, they weren't kidding. I'm certainly enjoying this browser, opposed to the previous phone default browser. It does have its limitations, but impressive nonetheless.
I could use some time gaming now, but I'll just have to wait. It's going to take 2 working days for the people at TMNet to get to solving my troubles... so monday will be the earliest time possible for me to get online as I usually do.
... I guess now i don't have to worry about forgetting about what to blog about when I'm away from my laptop. My phone is almost always by my side, and I can now blog through it. Whee~
See you around people. I miss a couple of you already.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:35 PM 0 comment(s)
Mad Season.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
I feel stupid - but I know it won't last for long
I've been guessing - and I coulda been guessin' wrong
You don't know me now
I kinda thought that you should somehow
Does that whole mad season got ya down?
Well I feel stupid, but it's something that comes and goes
I've been changin' - I think it's funny how no one knows
We don't talk about the little things that we do without
When that whole mad season comes around
So why you gotta stand there
Looking like the answer now?
It seems to me you'd come around
I need you now
Do you think you can cope?
You figured me out - that I'm lost and I'm hopeless
I'm bleeding and broken, though I've never spoken
I come undone
In this mad season
I feel stupid, but I think I been catchin' on
I feel ugly, but I know I still turn you on
You've grown colder now, torn apart, angry, turned around
Will that whole mad season knock you down?
So are you gonna stand there
Are you gonna help me out?
We need to be together now
I need you now
Do you think you can cope?
You figured me out - that I'm lost and I'm hopeless
I'm bleeding and broken, though I've never spoken
I come undone in this mad season
And now I'm cryin'
Isn't that what you want?
And I'm tryin' to live my life on my own
But I won't, no,
At times I do believe I am strong
So someone tell me why, why, why
Do I, I, I feel stupid
And I come undone
And I come undone
I need you now
Do you think you can cope?
You figured me out - that I'm lost and I'm hopeless
I'm bleeding and broken though I've never spoken
Well I need you now
Do you think you can cope?
You figured me out - I'm a child and I'm hopeless
I'm bleeding and broken though I've never spoken
I come undone
I come undone in this mad season
In this mad season
It's been a mad season
Been a mad season
- Matchbox Twenty
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:08 PM 0 comment(s)
Crapdangit?
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
I walked out of the office, after what I perceived to be a successful interview. I turn on my phone, lo and behold! Missed calls from Thilagan. Wanting to know what was so important that he had to call me three times, I called back. The ensuing conversation? Look down south.
"Hello. Why'd you call?"
"Oh nothing la macha. I was just dying, and with my last breath I wanted to say goodbye to you. Too late now la dey."
=___________="
Stupid bloody Indian. Unfortunately I'm only taking one class with him this semester, and none of those classes fall on a Saturday morning. Though I guess I'll still be getting high on laughter.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:16 PM 0 comment(s)
When the Court Jester made the King cry.
Monday, July 28, 2008
"Do you still...?"
"... Yea."
"Is it...?"
"It is. Not really something that can go away so easily, right?"
"I guess. I just think it's unhealthy.. if it stays for too long."
It's not healthy - I can't get that thought out of my mind. I know I need to get over it, but it's one of the most difficult things to do.
I guess I've not had it for too long. And now I fear that I miss it more than anything else. I want it more than anything else.
And the worst part is... I think I need it, more than anything else.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 6:43 PM 0 comment(s)
An Almost Complete Understanding.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Our lives are dictated by the questions we ask. Whether it be simple questions like "will it rain today?", or the more important ones like "where am I going?" - every single question we have tells us where to go, what to do, and how to do it.
When we run out of questions, we don't just run out of answers - we run out of hope.
It's the questions in our lives that keep us pushing - no matter how trivial, no matter how important - they keep us looking for the answers we want, and often the answers we need.
Every new day holds a new question. And every new question - one possible answer.
An answer that could drown us in sorrow, or one that could plaster the biggest smile on our faces. For better or worse, I'll ask what I can, and hope that I die before I run out of questions.
So the next big question is...
... What's next?
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 8:13 PM 0 comment(s)
One Truth.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
- Abigail Van Buren -
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 8:19 PM 0 comment(s)
The Unanswered Question.
Friday, July 25, 2008
I could turn stone to sand, and hold back the seven seas
I would climb the aging mountains, and hold you to the breeze
I'd do most anything, an exaggeration this is not
A mortal man with immortal will, drowned only by your gaze, cold as steel.
One question, one hundred times
One hundred questions, one time
Too many methods, a single result
Till you learn that there isn't a need for secrets
This waiting game I'll continue to play
Be patient, don't let this resolve sway.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 8:03 PM 0 comment(s)
Into A Lion's Den.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
There's no point delaying it any further. What needs to be said, should be said - no matter the outcome. I'll clear things up tomorrow, and pray their disappointment in me won't affect me too much.
It's difficult, but I can do this. I had the guts to let my feelings be known to a certain someone (and that was... an incredibly difficult thing to do), why would this be any more difficult than that?
Get it together Adam, this is easy.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 10:01 PM 0 comment(s)
Frozen Parts.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Things haven't been too good lately, and the weather hasn't really helped me. Now I'm down with the flu, and a fever is catching on. Fairly annoying that it should come at this time - my classes have started.
Bah.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 3:06 PM 0 comment(s)
Unwanted Parts.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Don't misunderstand the intentions of my actions, for I do what I do because I care - and I do not care because I must, but because I can.
I care for only a few - and of those few, fewer do I love.
Allow me what you perceive to be my misgivings - whether it be the names I use, the questions I ask, or the attention I give - they are but habits of mine, a part of who I am.
And if still I should be asked to change for them, then I shall - though I pray.. I pray you do not deny me your company then, simply because I am no longer the exact same person who was with you all this while.
Remove these nuts and bolts, one at a time - and hope that it's only for the better.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 12:12 AM 0 comment(s)
A Mouthful of Empty.
Monday, July 21, 2008
It's out, and there isn't a thing I can do about it.
Disappointment, frustration, a little bit of regret - emotions that won't linger around for too long, I hope. It's a first for me, and I'm not too sure how to deal with it.
What do I do now? I can't find it in me to tell my parents just yet. Yes, I'll tell them - soon enough. I guess I'll wait for the letter to come in and then let things go its way.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 8:11 PM 0 comment(s)
Driving With A Smile.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
The morning Sun greeted my journey home; the road as quiet as it could be. Speeding at a snail's pace, running without a race.
I sang a song, over and over again; I sang it loud - my lungs proudly huffing, my voice unhindered by the glass and metal around me. There was joy in my heart and cheer in my eyes.
Been walking my mind to an easy time, my back turned towards the Sun
Lord knows when the cold wind blows, it'll turn your head around
Well, there's hours of time on the telephone line to talk about things
to come
Sweet dreams and flying machines... in pieces on the ground
The words above were what stuck with me the most. And as I sang along to their tune, my mind had only one picture - Them.
And that was all I needed - a smile so genuine, not for anyone but myself.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:55 AM 0 comment(s)
Dim Lights.
Friday, July 18, 2008
I've got a hundred people walking around me, and ten of them are whispering sweet nothings in my ears.
Yet I find myself feeling distant. Amidst all this cheer, something isn't in its place - and I feel lonely without it. These walls have seen too much of me - I'll have to leave them soon.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 11:06 PM 0 comment(s)
4:14AM
What the hell am I doing being awake at this hour?
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 4:13 AM 0 comment(s)
The Oil Debate.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Who here watched the debate between Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim and Datuk Ahmad Shabery Cheek? I'm pretty sure most of you with a vested interest in the country's politics took time off your busy schedules to watch it.
The title of the debate was "Form A Government Today, Reduce Oil Price Tomorrow".
I'm not going to explain the points that were given during the debate by both parties - that you can obtain from other independent bloggers (though likely biased). Instead, I will offer my opinions on what transpired last night.
In my opinion, the debate was handled shamefully. While both parties had their share of points and arguments, a lot of time was wasted on irrelevent arguments and personal attacks (mostly on the Information Minister's part). Many questions were not answered completely, and the debate (more or less) progressed into a fight for party/political mileage. Of course, considering the parties involved and the state of Malaysian affairs (shall I mention "mentality" as well?), anyone with enough common sense would have expected the debate to turn into this.
Overall however, if I would name a winner: Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim. Hands down. In my opinion, Datuk Shabery didn't have enough on him to justify the price hike. Despite his shortcomings, he definitely had a few strong points, which the general public should consider. Blind loyalty to any political party won't help anyone after yesterday's debate - everyone needs to take into account both sides of the story if the country is to get out of the rut it's in.
Despite all this, the debate itself can be considered a success. It showed Malaysians that the Government is willing to be transparent (to a certain extent), and it offered the average Malaysian a deeper insight into the whole issue. There is talk on the news that Datuk Shabery is willing to take on Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim in another debate. I say: go for it.
I'm surprised you've stayed with me this far. Note that everything I've said above are merely my opinions on the matter - don't hold it against me, no matter where your alliances lie.
I have taken a very neutral standpoint in the past few months, and no longer directly support any political movement/party. Yay me.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 5:03 PM 0 comment(s)
Rain & The Failed Poet.
Monday, July 14, 2008
It's 2:15PM, and the rain is pouring heavily here. The air is cool, and it feels clean. I love the smell of rain, especially in the morning and afternoon. Everything just seems so soothing. Put it together with the right choice of music, and there's this feeling of tranquility that doesn't come often in our everyday lives.
A long drive would make things perfect.
I have this urge to visit a beach. Smell the ocean, feel the sand between my toes. Taste the air, hear the waves, enjoy a drink or two with just the right people. Probably watch the stars in complete silence.
Maybe I should do that soon enough.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 2:14 PM 0 comment(s)
Fire and Rain.
The other night at Backyard, the band played a song that I didn't hear in ages. It was so long since I heard it that I actually had trouble recognizing the song. In the end, Collin helped me out and told me what I needed to know.
Fire and Rain, by James Taylor. Ah, so good. As always with me and a good song... Well, just read on.
Just yesterday morning they let me know you were gone
Susanne the plans they made put an end to you
I walked out this morning and I wrote down this song
I just can't remember who to send it to
I've seen fire and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I'd see you again
Won't you look down upon me, Jesus
You've got to help me make a stand
You've just got to see me through another day
My body's aching and my time is at hand
And I won't make it any other way
Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I'd see you again
Been walking my mind to an easy time my back turned towards the sun
Lord knows when the cold wind blows it'll turn your head around
Well, there's hours of time on the telephone line to talk about things
to come
Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground
Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I'd see you, baby, one more time again, now
Thought I'd see you one more time again
There's just a few things coming my way this time around, now
Thought I'd see you, thought I'd see you fire and rain, now
- James Taylor -
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 12:30 AM 0 comment(s)
Farewell Friend.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Feels a little odd.
Collin left for Singapore today, and he'll be in Australia by tomorrow. There goes one of my oldest and closest friend. It's going to be a while before I actually see him again.
We had a farewell session just two nights ago, with the company of Thilagan, Kingsley, Kishore, Ryan and Isaac. Was an incredible night - good drinks, great music, and perfect company. Kishore, Ryan, and Collin even got up on the pub's stage and performed as Maria's Margaritas for the last time. The guys played medleys of a few songs, the most awesome being their jazz/funk version of Wonderwall/Low (Oasis & Flo Rida, amazing).
This morning Collin and I went for breakfast together. Gosh. Oddly enough, I'm pretty much alone now here in Rawang.
I'm going to miss our midnight mamak sessions (or, almost midnight), our discussions (mostly political? Ha ha), and singing in the DSA. There's also the constant repetitive barrage of lame jokes.
As much of an asshole as I've been, there are only too few people who've been with me through it all - and Collin is one of them. Eight solid years of friendship, that's something to shout about. I'm going to miss you my friend! I hope.. everything goes well for you there.
Take care Chocolate Bear :D
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 4:40 PM 3 comment(s)
Enough.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Allow me a moment to be brutally honest.
I am so disappointed that some things are even given any consideration, when the fact of the matter is: little (or.. dare I say it: nothing?) has been done to alleviate the recent troubles that plague. I can only say so much, so often. And if my words have done nothing but fall on deaf ears, then who am I to say anything more?
Maybe I've been too soft spoken. Maybe I haven't been aggressive enough to show that I do not approve, that more can be done. Maybe I have been far too patient, and far too forgiving.
I find it difficult to go back and read what I just did.
I don't even have to mention a name. And if asked, forgive me - don't expect a fucking answer. Interpret this whichever way you want, apply it to yourself if you feel it is directed at you. Personally, I don't care. Not now.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:42 PM 0 comment(s)
Lost Meaning.
These days, I often have a lot running through my mind. I think and think, and I find ways to put my emotions into words. I'd have it structured, and ready for this space here. But when I place myself right here, with my fingers tracing the keys of my laptop...
... I forget. I forget the words, the structure. I forget the meaning.
Frustrating.. especially when I use this blog as a form of escape. I need to be able to put my deepest, darkest, and most trivial thoughts down - in a way that will capture everything I feel - be it bad, good, or just plain confused.
I realize I could just as easily talk to someone about it, let it flow. For now, that.. isn't much of an option. I have my reasons, and I can only hope that those closest to me won't hold it against me.
So what the hell do I do now? I guess I wait - till I have my head together. Till I can express myself fully again.
This better not take too long.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 8:22 PM 0 comment(s)
Silverstone.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
I should be working now, but I'm too distracted to start anything. At this date and hour, there's only one thing distracting me from my work: Formula 1!
Haha! It's the Silverstone GP!
It's been a really interesting race! Once again, it's a wet race. Though not as slippery as Monaco, the race is still pretty darn intense. Hamilton's leading now (I am so happy), and Ferrari made a critical error in their pit strategy! McLaren has been given a huge advantage. My father and I are finding it difficult to keep our eyes off the race.
BMW is driving a superb race. Heidfeld made an incredible overtaking maneuver on Alonso and Kovalainen, and Robert Kubica shoved his car through Kovalainen's McLaren like nothing! Granted, Kovalainen hadn't changed tyres yet. But needless to say, it's been amazing.
As of this sentence, Hamilton is leading by 25 seconds. Hahahaha!
I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again: this is such an amazing season!
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 8:50 PM 0 comment(s)
The Mind's Art.
Friday, July 4, 2008
I saw stars. I tasted wine. I was calm, collected. I felt warm. Comfortable. All because of a simple, painted picture - framed within the walls of my mind. Brushed together with memories of what was, what is, and the thought of what could be.
Dresses and a suit. Laughs and three distinctive smiles. Silent phones and quiet conversation.
Laughs... and three distinctive smiles.
I would've stared longer at the picture, and trace my fingers over it. But reality called.
Reality called.
I had hoped that the feeling would linger just a little longer, even with my eyes open to these four walls.
It doesn't take long for feelings to fade. Tragic, isn't it?
I saw stars. I tasted wine. I was warm. Comfortable.
Very comfortable.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 10:35 PM 0 comment(s)
L.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
The interpretation of "love" has always baffled me. I've seen many people give it chance after chance, just because they believed there was something there. To me, love isn't blind - but it is possible for it to lose its sight. So, when does love turn blind?
Some people go into relationships and they stay much the same - they are who they were before the relationship came into existence, and the only difference it brought on them was that they were happier for the companionship and trust that they now owned. Others go into relationships and they change: some - for themselves; others - for another.
Recently, a friend of mine (who I've known for near five years) broke off with his girlfriend of one-and-a-half years. He went in and came out the same. She came out a different person. And now she's having trouble going back to who she was. I was never close to her, but she often turned to me for advice. I never turned her down, eventhough I barely knew her. Throughout the course of their relationship, he kept on pushing for her to change so many things about herself. And she, for his love, tried to meet his expectations. At the very end of the day, he only had her by his side when he wanted her. And I could never truly explain how angry I was at him for that.
She always asked me, "Why?"
Because she loved him. And she believed that he loved her as much as she loved him. And for that, she was blind to everything else.
If you love someone, how can you go into a relationship asking them to change? And should they change for you, what does it say about your love for them? To me, I see it only as you wanting to rid yourself of your loneliness, and you chose the one most convenient for this purpose - getting together with someone, to mold him/her into your perfect partner.
Doesn't say much about "love", does it? Sounds more like convenience and a little bit of risk.
I would never ask the one I love to change, because if she did - she wouldn't be the same person I fell in love with. Change happens gradually, naturally, and both sides are always a part of it. Healthy change doesn't happen because you asked for it. It doesn't happen because you demanded for it.
She's different now. She knows it. My friend on the other hand, well... he's already made himself available for someone else. What did she change for?
I'll leave that question unanswered.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 3:57 PM 0 comment(s)
Facepalm.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
I looked down and pondered, "What should I have for lunch?". There was a little girl standing next to me, just watching me as I took the time to make my decision. I looked at her and gave a friendly smile. As I walked away, I overheard her loud one-sided conversation with her father:-
"Ayah ayah, tengok! Lelaki gergasi."
What the bloody hell.
Reminds me of the time my younger cousin called me a monster. She was young, I was (am) huge, I said "boo" and she ran to her mother screaming "monster monster!!".
Adorable. Also, slightly insulting. Damn it.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 5:10 PM 2 comment(s)
But, Honestly.
Friday, June 27, 2008
I guess I had something to listen to all along - all I needed was to pull my ears away from all the noise around me, and listen quietly to the voices. The instruments. And of course, the lyrics.
Ahh, the lyrics.
Music helps. In so many ways. It still amazes me, how the fickle human mind is so easily subdued by a simple tune. Let us not forget how that same mind can comprehend the sophistication that comes with pulling so many things together to form a seemingly undying melody.
There are too few truths in this world. Thank goodness then, that some of these truths aren't difficult to find. That some of them are right under our noses.
Where are you off to with that head of yours?
Is there somewhere you should be?
Was it something that I said the time I held you down
and told you it's not you it's only me?
Maybe
Don't take what I don't need
(Give me back my peace of mind)
Don't say what I don't need
(Give my back my precious time)
No way you'll silence me
You'll see
What you up to now your mirror's gone?
Is there someone you should be?
Did you think I was just fooling 'round with you?
But honestly
But honestly
But honestly
Don't take what I don't need
(Give me back my peace of mind)
Don't say what I don't need
(Give me back my precious time)
No way you'll silence me
(Give me back my peace and quiet)
Nowhere to hide from me
You'll see
And tonight I thank the stars
As I count my lucky scars
For everything you've given me
And all the wants I gave to you
Something borrowed, something blue
If you want them back
I'll give it to you
Give it to you
And one more thing that I gave to you
- But Honestly, by the Foo Fighters
It's always been about second chances, isn't it?
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:24 PM 0 comment(s)
One Kiss Goodnight.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
We are almost at the end of June, and soon enough we'll have our heads stuck in July. Roughly, I have another three weeks till I begin my next semester.
Unfortunately for me, I won't have the luxury of taking as many subjects as I'd like. Once again, resources are low, and I will have the opportunity to take only two subjects in the next semester. I was hoping to take at least three, to speed up the education process.
But I should know more than anyone: things don't always go the way you want them to.
Ah well. As always, I'll play the hand I've been dealt with. I might not have a Royal Flush, but a Full House works too.
I'll be as free as I was the last semester: three months of studies, and only two subjects to fill the days. Guess I'll need to find new ways of getting around things.
Lately I've been having serious doubts about my upcoming results, specifically Calculus. I'll be honest with everyone here - I've never been very good with numbers (and still I got myself into I.T. Yes, I question my intelligence too). Though I know I did well for my Finals, I have begun to doubt that I will do well enough for my assessment. I know it seems like I do this every semester, lamenting that I will fail and end up passing everything with flying colours - but it's a different feel this time. In fact, all the times before this, I've always been nervous, jittery. So much so that I question it all the time. But this time? It looks like I couldn't be bothered. Maybe because I know it's real this time? I don't know.
There is no one to blame for this feeling, but me.
I know a few people are already disappointed in me. And a few more will be in the near future. But you know something funny? It doesn't matter. I'm already disappointed in myself, more than anyone else can be with me.
Ah Adam. You screwed up. You screwed up where you shouldn't have. What now? Just wait and see. Just wait and see...
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 8:05 PM 0 comment(s)
Literal Meanings.
Monday, June 23, 2008
I found this comic strip fairly amusing. *Zwak zwak zwak* What the bloody hell. Haha.
I finally got my hair cut on Saturday, and I shaved Sunday morning. Had I not done so, I think I would've been using shampoo on my face in bath.
Hmm. I'm suddenly reminded of my cousin in Australia. Does he wash his face with shampoo?? *Questionable Gasp of Epic Proportions*
My back hurts. I think I snapped something yesterday. How? Chiropractic help, here I come!
No, not really. Not that serious. Though a visit to the chiropractor would be really nice. Just to snap things back into place. Eheh eheh eheh... *Snap* OH YOU MOTHER FU---
I was watching Ugly Betty the other day, and after seeing the lead actress actual photo... I kinda feel that the character Betty is more attractive. o_O Tell me what's wrong with me. Please.
Why is this blog so bloody boring?
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 7:54 PM 0 comment(s)
Simple Complications.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
There are two major troubles with the world today:
- Too few know a good thing when it's right under their noses, and
- Not enough care for perception. Not enough care to put themselves in the shoes of others, and that has made all the difference in our lives.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 11:53 PM 0 comment(s)
Blabber.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
I'm sure most are familiar with the song "I'm yours" by Jason Mraz. Just yesterday, I saw a newly released video of the song, with him singing it live in Sweden. I thoroughly enjoyed this video, because it's nice to see the crowd singing along so enthusiastically. If you've not seen it yet, here it is:
Unfortunately, the sound quality of this video isn't very good, so you'll have to bear with it till I can find a better one.
On a side note, the Boston Celtics won the NBA Championship this season! Very happy. I've been a fan of the Celtics for about 12 years now. Yes - I've had an interest in the Celtics longer than I've had an interest for F1. Very good to see that they've picked themselves up in the last couple of years, and now they're champs again. And the best bit, they beat the Lakers to win the championship. Classic.
I haven't shaved in one and a half weeks. My hair is long and wild too. In fact, when I looked into the mirror this morning, I thought I saw Hagrid. Damn.
Though, Hagrid is pretty darn cool. No?
Enough of this crap. I'm going to run off for a drink with Collin.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:51 PM 0 comment(s)
Walking Sideways.
Monday, June 16, 2008
It's fairly disheartening when there isn't anything to listen to. Don't get me wrong - I have tons of songs on my laptop. But as I scroll through my music list, I see nothing that appeals to me. Everyone listens to music to suit their moods, and I am no different. Trouble is, I can't find one to suit my mood now.
I don't know what I feel really. I've been struggling these past few days to determine what it is I feel. Understand this: I'm not sad. I am rather content with everything around me. And that's why I'm so bloody confused - because in all this right, something is wrong.
But what's wrong? I have no idea.
It's times like these that I take off my glasses and stare around me, the world nothing but a blur. And I've always been rewarded with at least a little bit of insight into the troubles I face - a little bit of insight into making myself feel better. But this time the reward eludes me - the world has been a blur, and I keep walking into things I can't see.
What the bloody hell is wrong? Everything is right! It's frustrating...
... and I still don't have anything to listen to.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 8:26 PM 0 comment(s)
Nothing Here, Move Along Now.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
I am incredibly drowsy right now, so this post might not come out well. Yahoo?
I've been sneezing my nose off almost the whole day. This is annoying. Anyone know the number of a good plumber? I could use a change of tubes.
Right.
It took me fifteen minutes to get from the second paragraph to this point, and I have no clue what I wanted to post about. I had an idea earlier, but it's got up and left me. What the bloody hell. I always knew my memory was bad.. but this bad?
I think I'll come back another time - when I have something to talk about.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 10:20 PM 0 comment(s)
[Insert Pointless Title Here]
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Being incredibly bored, I decided I needed to take a little time to stimulate my mind, and so I started a search for intelligent banter.
Then I realised, "intelligent banter" doesn't exist on the Internet. Oh woe is me.
Right now, my stomach is so empty, that should I tap it - I hear echoes within my hollow self. Now tell me that's amazing. There's food lying around, but I don't feel hungry. Since that's the case, I should only wait till breakfast comes around.
The day has been unusually hot, and the fact that it hasn't rained doesn't help one bloody bit.
You know what would be nice right now? Long Island Tea. Oh yes. Or maybe just a glass of red wine. Just one glass. Right now. I...
... you guessed it, I'm sipping on red wine right now. Now I feel a little calm and collected.
This post is pointless. Come on, say it with me: This post is pointless.
Bravo. Now someone please tell me, what the bloody hell can I do on a Thursday night to alleviate my feelings of severe boredom?
...
... If you need me, I'll be using my imagination in the cardboard box by the corner of my home.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:28 PM 0 comment(s)
11 Seconds to Sundown.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
I guess I can't expect anyone to be excited about the little things that make me happy, the small things that I choose to share, because they mean enough to me.
Even though I'm expected to be enthusiastic for the things that have made them happy.
Funny how it's so difficult for me to get what I want, when I want it. Despite it being just a simple show of emotion.
One and a half month holiday. I'll be working, most likely. Will any of you be seeing me? Hardly. Will I have the time to talk to any of you? Probably not - I'm hardly ever online, and for the coming weeks: I'll be less likely to be available on MSN as the days before (despite it not being much). Phone calls? Ha ha ha... unfortunately, there are only so few I choose to talk to on the phone. And fewer would have the time (or the mood) to listen to me whenever I choose to call.
It's never been the right time. I guess it never will be.
It will always be a blow to the face, when I wake up to find I didn't know as much as I thought I did, or that I wasn't who I thought myself to be.
Always.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:23 PM 0 comment(s)
Imagination.
Monday, June 9, 2008
I seek solace and find refuge in my quiet companion, there throughout my loneliest of moments.
And when all is said and done, I am content.
Imagination. What a strange and beautiful thing.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:06 AM 0 comment(s)
Mind Shift.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
The recent price hike for petrol has got me thinking about a lot. And after all that, I've come to a few decisions, of which I will announce here. These announcements are directed to my friends, and I hope all of you who read this will understand.
Announcement #1
I'm sorry to say, but most of you will not be seeing me often from here on out. I will have to turn down a lot of invitations to spend time with the gang - whether to watch a movie, to have dinner, or whatever. I honestly can no longer afford coming down as often as I did before - on average, I spend a minimum of RM20+ (to and fro, only petrol and toll). With the hike, my travel expenditure should rise to a minimum of RM30 (per day).
There have been times where I've declined invitations to spend time with certain people, and I've been (jokingly) called "cheap" for it. While I may have laughed with any of you about it at the time, I will confess that statements such as those have always made me feel extremely insulted. With the changes that I'm pursuing, I know that some people might bring up such statements again. I kindly ask that any of you who read this refrain from putting me in such uncomfortable situations.
Thank you.
Announcement #2
I'm pulling out of the Dead-6. I won't be spending much time playing games from here on out with you guys, because I don't want to waste any more money. I might join you guys for casual games here and there, once in a blue-moon, but that's about it. No more tourneys for me. I'm sorry, but...
Chaplain is retiring.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 1:23 PM 0 comment(s)
Increase.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
There's news running about that the price of petrol will be increased to RM2.70 come tomorrow. I'm getting calls and messages from various people telling me to rush off to the nearest petrol station and fill my tanks before it's too late.
Honestly, I don't think the government is going to raise the price of petrol so much without proper warning. Or then again, they might. It's probably the price of petrol that's been decided upon for foreign cars, not local.
Ah well. Even if it were true, I have never been the kind to rush off and line up with the rest just to save myself a little bit of money, one time. Really interested in seeing what happens tomorrow.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 7:03 PM 0 comment(s)
Pointless.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
I come to you now, with no clue whatsoever what this post will be about. Yes - posting here and now - is just a way for me to kill time, before I resume studying for my finals.
My mother bought me a "kain songket" and batik shirt from the family's holiday in Terengganu. I have always had a liking to the traditional garments of Malaysian cultures - Malay, Chinese, Indian, Punjabi... you name it, I pretty much like it. It's very... classy.
Now here I sit wondering when I'll ever be able to see Gillian and Kimberley in a cheongsam. Or Charlene in a sari! Ha ha ha! Maybe I should organize a dinner with everyone wearing traditional garments. Wouldn't that be nice? Ahaha.
But then again.. what are the odds of such a thing taking off as it should? Bah. Pretend I deleted that last line.
***
I need a new PS2. Seriously. It's not been working for a while now, and I miss my console games. Would be nice to spend a couple of hours playing a Final Fantasy, WRC, or Katamari Damacy! HAHAHAHA. Oh gosh that game was fun. If I ever get it fixed, one way or another, I'm playing that game with Gillian and Kimberley. Fun~
***
Collin, my brother, and I were having dinner together a week ago, and at one point we started arguing about the price of satay, here and in Kedah. Naturally, the cost of living in these two places are different, so there shouldn't even be any argument about the price! So in the end, we gave up when we realized it was pointless. In fact, the conversation ended with Collin stating this exact sentence:
"OK, so the point of this whole conversation, is that there's no point."
HAHAHA.
I can't wait for the idiot to run off to Australia. Heh heh heh.
Alright, this post is completely pointless. I'll stop boring all of you with my nonsensical blabber. Goodnight~
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:24 PM 1 comment(s)
Fulfilled Dreams
Sunday, June 1, 2008
I could publish a book, but it would have too few pages
I could write a poem, but it would say nothing
I could act a play, but I would convey little
I could sit quietly, under the pale moon light
But it wouldn't be fair, not for what I felt last night
Sometimes, "Thank you" just isn't enough.
The Stars could give me any wish in the world, and I would turn them all down
For I am content; My face is without a frown.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 3:08 PM 0 comment(s)
Natural Melody.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Believe it or not, but I'm awake at 3am, and I'm studying. No, I haven't lost my mind. Yes, I realize I'm the kind of person that usually doesn't study. In fact, I average studying only 20 minutes a day (it works for me).
Guess what I can hear outside my house?
Crickets.
I can't remember the last time I actually listened to crickets "make music".
This is comfortable. This is peaceful.
This is... strangely tranquil.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 3:17 AM 0 comment(s)
Thank You-s.
Friday, May 30, 2008
This post is my way of showing my appreciation.
Thank you for the birthday wishes. Forgive me if I didn't reply to them, as your messages might have come in during one of my busy moments. Much appreciated though.
I extend more of my thanks to a few specific people: Kimberley, Weng Chi, Siao Hui, Charlene, Victor, and Thilagan - for calling me and making my day. Thank you very much!
Was a good 22nd.
Now to stay alive till my 23rd.
...
I'm joking I'm joking :P
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 6:52 PM 0 comment(s)
Deciding Deeds against Deaths.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Twenty-two years, and I do not believe I can recall that the past twenty-one have ever started out so badly as today's. So many questions, no answers.
Though my decision is made, I can't help but wonder if I'm going to do the right thing. Will this all work out in the end? For better or worse, I just hope I don't lose what I have now forever.
Edit: Just to clear things up - No, this post has nothing to do with me turning 22. It's about something that has been stuck on my mind for a long time, and my doubts about the future after my decision is made. That's all. I'm not going through an early-20s crisis damn it.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 1:26 AM 0 comment(s)
Shifty Eyes and Hidden Hands.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
People will do anything to hide from you actions which they know don't please you. They doubt your ability to observe, and they pretend. Pretend. Pretend. Pretend.
It's tiring, but I'll play along.
I've expressed my feelings not once, but twice. I needn't say things a third time, because the horrible truth is - what I say shouldn't matter.
Before I choose to forever keep my silence, I will say one last thing: Just because I allow it to happen in front of me, doesn't mean I approve of it.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:29 PM 0 comment(s)
High-Rev Music.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Yes ladies and gentlemen, it's that time of the year again - the Monaco F1 Grand Prix. This race is one I eagerly anticipate every season, because of one reason: it's my favourite race on the F1 calendar.
The fact that this race has been dominated by McLaren for the past x-years could be why it's my favourite though.
This season, with the lack of driver-aids and traction control, the races are so much more exciting. I do not remember Monaco ever being this exciting! Cars are speeding along wet street roads (it's raining now in Monaco. Yes, I'm watching it live as I'm typing this), and they're sliding as they take the corners! Formula 1 cars! Sliding! How bloody awesome is that?
Ah the thrill of unbelievably quick cars.
This season has brought competitiveness to an all-time high, and that's amazing. Despite the loss of driver-aids, and the usage of lower-powered engines compared to past seasons, driver's are still pushing past the speed records with ease. Says a lot about the advancement of aerodynamics and the capabilities of F1 drivers and engineers.
Speaking of engineers... I wonder what it would be like to be one.
Wait a second.
Formula 1 definitely needs I.T. professionals, right?
Could I possibly..?
*Drools uncontrollably*
The cars are still sliding through the corners. Sliding. I can't emphasize that word enough. Sliding. Sliding Formula 1 cars.
Alright. Seems like that's all I have to say for now. I'm going to continue watching this awesome race. By the way, Hamilton is leading.
WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!~
On a side note, is it wrong if I occasionally imagine myself to be in a Formula 1 race while driving?
Guess not. After all, it only happens occasionally.
Most of the time, I imagine myself to be in a rally.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:07 PM 0 comment(s)
O Hai.
Friday, May 23, 2008
I've been quiet for quite some time now - it's been a long while since I provided any comment on the political state of the country, and the many areas of the government I am not satisfied with. Maybe today would be a good time to do so?
Listen, I know that a lot of you couldn't be bothered with reading any of my political rants, but I think it's necessary that this generation be fully aware of the various issues that have come to light in recent months, and discussion is necessary to provide understanding and so fo---
...
Fine. Forget the politics.
***
I first listened to the song "Long Road to Ruin" (by the Foo Fighters) on MTV. The video was comical and true to the Foo Fighter's style, but it did a lot in distracting me from the lyrics of the song. If one were to listen carefully, the song speaks about so much. I won't bother posting the lyrics here, because this post has already taken up enough space (large images for the win) - so Google it if you're interested eh?
***
I'm going to be 22 soon. Very soon actually. Should I be enthusiastic?
... K, maybe not that enthusiastic. Never been very fond of my birthdays. Why?
Enough said. K bai.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 12:33 PM 0 comment(s)
Nuts & Bolts.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Approaching a new number; another chapter inked to an end.
A new page; a separate journey.
A foreign land; a familiar song.
A sudden change; a new beginning.
Just one smile.
Just a little faith.
A step further, and no more.
Just a few more nuts and bolts.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:08 PM 0 comment(s)
Consider Me.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 8:17 PM 0 comment(s)