Me.
L.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
The interpretation of "love" has always baffled me. I've seen many people give it chance after chance, just because they believed there was something there. To me, love isn't blind - but it is possible for it to lose its sight. So, when does love turn blind?
Some people go into relationships and they stay much the same - they are who they were before the relationship came into existence, and the only difference it brought on them was that they were happier for the companionship and trust that they now owned. Others go into relationships and they change: some - for themselves; others - for another.
Recently, a friend of mine (who I've known for near five years) broke off with his girlfriend of one-and-a-half years. He went in and came out the same. She came out a different person. And now she's having trouble going back to who she was. I was never close to her, but she often turned to me for advice. I never turned her down, eventhough I barely knew her. Throughout the course of their relationship, he kept on pushing for her to change so many things about herself. And she, for his love, tried to meet his expectations. At the very end of the day, he only had her by his side when he wanted her. And I could never truly explain how angry I was at him for that.
She always asked me, "Why?"
Because she loved him. And she believed that he loved her as much as she loved him. And for that, she was blind to everything else.
If you love someone, how can you go into a relationship asking them to change? And should they change for you, what does it say about your love for them? To me, I see it only as you wanting to rid yourself of your loneliness, and you chose the one most convenient for this purpose - getting together with someone, to mold him/her into your perfect partner.
Doesn't say much about "love", does it? Sounds more like convenience and a little bit of risk.
I would never ask the one I love to change, because if she did - she wouldn't be the same person I fell in love with. Change happens gradually, naturally, and both sides are always a part of it. Healthy change doesn't happen because you asked for it. It doesn't happen because you demanded for it.
She's different now. She knows it. My friend on the other hand, well... he's already made himself available for someone else. What did she change for?
I'll leave that question unanswered.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 3:57 PM