Me.
Natural Melody.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Believe it or not, but I'm awake at 3am, and I'm studying. No, I haven't lost my mind. Yes, I realize I'm the kind of person that usually doesn't study. In fact, I average studying only 20 minutes a day (it works for me).
Guess what I can hear outside my house?
Crickets.
I can't remember the last time I actually listened to crickets "make music".
This is comfortable. This is peaceful.
This is... strangely tranquil.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 3:17 AM 0 comment(s)
Thank You-s.
Friday, May 30, 2008
This post is my way of showing my appreciation.
Thank you for the birthday wishes. Forgive me if I didn't reply to them, as your messages might have come in during one of my busy moments. Much appreciated though.
I extend more of my thanks to a few specific people: Kimberley, Weng Chi, Siao Hui, Charlene, Victor, and Thilagan - for calling me and making my day. Thank you very much!
Was a good 22nd.
Now to stay alive till my 23rd.
...
I'm joking I'm joking :P
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 6:52 PM 0 comment(s)
Deciding Deeds against Deaths.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Twenty-two years, and I do not believe I can recall that the past twenty-one have ever started out so badly as today's. So many questions, no answers.
Though my decision is made, I can't help but wonder if I'm going to do the right thing. Will this all work out in the end? For better or worse, I just hope I don't lose what I have now forever.
Edit: Just to clear things up - No, this post has nothing to do with me turning 22. It's about something that has been stuck on my mind for a long time, and my doubts about the future after my decision is made. That's all. I'm not going through an early-20s crisis damn it.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 1:26 AM 0 comment(s)
Shifty Eyes and Hidden Hands.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
People will do anything to hide from you actions which they know don't please you. They doubt your ability to observe, and they pretend. Pretend. Pretend. Pretend.
It's tiring, but I'll play along.
I've expressed my feelings not once, but twice. I needn't say things a third time, because the horrible truth is - what I say shouldn't matter.
Before I choose to forever keep my silence, I will say one last thing: Just because I allow it to happen in front of me, doesn't mean I approve of it.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:29 PM 0 comment(s)
High-Rev Music.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Yes ladies and gentlemen, it's that time of the year again - the Monaco F1 Grand Prix. This race is one I eagerly anticipate every season, because of one reason: it's my favourite race on the F1 calendar.
The fact that this race has been dominated by McLaren for the past x-years could be why it's my favourite though.
This season, with the lack of driver-aids and traction control, the races are so much more exciting. I do not remember Monaco ever being this exciting! Cars are speeding along wet street roads (it's raining now in Monaco. Yes, I'm watching it live as I'm typing this), and they're sliding as they take the corners! Formula 1 cars! Sliding! How bloody awesome is that?
Ah the thrill of unbelievably quick cars.
This season has brought competitiveness to an all-time high, and that's amazing. Despite the loss of driver-aids, and the usage of lower-powered engines compared to past seasons, driver's are still pushing past the speed records with ease. Says a lot about the advancement of aerodynamics and the capabilities of F1 drivers and engineers.
Speaking of engineers... I wonder what it would be like to be one.
Wait a second.
Formula 1 definitely needs I.T. professionals, right?
Could I possibly..?
*Drools uncontrollably*
The cars are still sliding through the corners. Sliding. I can't emphasize that word enough. Sliding. Sliding Formula 1 cars.
Alright. Seems like that's all I have to say for now. I'm going to continue watching this awesome race. By the way, Hamilton is leading.
WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!~
On a side note, is it wrong if I occasionally imagine myself to be in a Formula 1 race while driving?
Guess not. After all, it only happens occasionally.
Most of the time, I imagine myself to be in a rally.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:07 PM 0 comment(s)
O Hai.
Friday, May 23, 2008
I've been quiet for quite some time now - it's been a long while since I provided any comment on the political state of the country, and the many areas of the government I am not satisfied with. Maybe today would be a good time to do so?
Listen, I know that a lot of you couldn't be bothered with reading any of my political rants, but I think it's necessary that this generation be fully aware of the various issues that have come to light in recent months, and discussion is necessary to provide understanding and so fo---
...
Fine. Forget the politics.
***
I first listened to the song "Long Road to Ruin" (by the Foo Fighters) on MTV. The video was comical and true to the Foo Fighter's style, but it did a lot in distracting me from the lyrics of the song. If one were to listen carefully, the song speaks about so much. I won't bother posting the lyrics here, because this post has already taken up enough space (large images for the win) - so Google it if you're interested eh?
***
I'm going to be 22 soon. Very soon actually. Should I be enthusiastic?
... K, maybe not that enthusiastic. Never been very fond of my birthdays. Why?
Enough said. K bai.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 12:33 PM 0 comment(s)
Nuts & Bolts.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Approaching a new number; another chapter inked to an end.
A new page; a separate journey.
A foreign land; a familiar song.
A sudden change; a new beginning.
Just one smile.
Just a little faith.
A step further, and no more.
Just a few more nuts and bolts.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:08 PM 0 comment(s)
Consider Me.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 8:17 PM 0 comment(s)
A Simple "Yea".
Friday, May 16, 2008
"Am I included in one of those few persons?"
"Yea."
That made my night. I appreciate it, so much. Thank you.
You know who you are :)
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:46 PM 0 comment(s)
Open Secrets.
I don't think I'll be silent for much longer.
Give me just a little more time to pull the words together.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 7:27 PM 0 comment(s)
Stranger Things Have Happened.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Goddamn this dusty room
This hazy afternoon
I'm breathing in this silence like never before
This feeling that I get
This one last cigarette
As I lay awake and wait for you to come through the door
Oh maybe maybe maybe I can share it with you
I behave I behave I behave so I can share it with you
You were not alone dear loneliness
You forgot but I remember this
Oh stranger stranger stranger things have happened, I know
I'm not alone dear loneliness
I forgot that I remember this
Oh stranger stranger stranger things have happened, I know
Oh, oh
Oh, oh
We'll dream about somewhere
Our smoke will fill the air
As I lay awake and wait for you to walk out that door
I can change I can change I can change
But who do you want me to be
I'm the same I'm the same I'm the same
What do you want me to be
You were not alone dear loneliness
You forgot but I remember this
Oh stranger stranger stranger things have happened, I know
Oh, oh
Oh, oh
I'm not alone dear loneliness
I forgot that I remember this
You were not alone dear loneliness
You forgot but I remember this
Oh stranger stranger stranger things have happened, I know
- the Foo Fighters -
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 11:27 PM 0 comment(s)
Speed Bumps & Failed Brakes.
These days, I allow too much of myself to be affected by music, especially when I'm driving.
Do you often listen to tunes, and drive according to the intensity of the music you're listening to? I'm sure most are pretty much the same as me.
***
I love the atmosphere of driving on the highways at night. There are rarely too many cars on the route from KL/Damansara to Rawang at night. It's a wonderful feeling to have your hands on the steering wheel; to watch the rear lights of other cars zoom by; to watch the huge street lights come into view, then so quickly disappear from sight; to feel the road beneath you; and to have your favourite music accompany you.
No passengers. Just you, the road, and the music you love so.
***
I'm sure that many people would deem me crazy if they watched me drive at night. One minute, I'll be driving slow, allowing all sorts of vehicles to pass me by; the next, I'd be traveling at speeds that would make my engine cry.
Ever listened to the song "Come Alive" by the Foo Fighters? It starts out slow, a very relaxed tune. As one reaches the middle of the song, the intensity grows, and it's as though fuel is poured onto a warm flame that was burning in you. Often, I find myself driving at average speeds of 100km/h on the highway, and just as the music begins to pick up, my foot moves with synchronisation to it. Before I know it, I'll be smiling to myself as I over take cars at an average of 170km/h.
It's a funny feeling.
It's a good feeling.
Because in that moment, every little troubled thought I have is just swept away. Even if just for a moment - at the very least I can be assured that I am truly free. No questions. No restraints. No reasons.
If I should die on the road, I would die a happy man.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 10:00 PM 2 comment(s)
Specter.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
I found it in the corner of a dark room.
It followed me home. It was a passenger on the ride back - the cold stares, the deep breaths.
I made sure to keep my eyes ahead. I made sure to never glance into the rear view mirror, for fear of what I would see.
When I parked the car, I got out as fast as I could, and never once did I look into the backseats of my car.
I am in my room now.
It's quiet.
I thought I left it behind me. But then now I realize I'm not alone. It's outside my window - and it's scratching at the glass.
I dare not turn off the lights.
I dare not face what's beyond the window.
I dare not close my eyes to sleep.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 11:22 PM 0 comment(s)
Be Still My Beating Heart.
Monday, May 5, 2008
My back hurts.
Nevermind that. I've been listening to two albums consistently lately: Jack Johnson's "Sleep Through the Static", and the Foo Fighter's "Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace".
There is one particular song from the Foo Fighter's album that I really like - and yes, it's been playing very often on my iPod in the past couple of weeks. Well, it's that time again. After all, what else do I do when I really like a song? Post lyrics~
Let It Die
A heart of gold
But it lost it's pride
Beautiful veins
And bloodshot eyes
I see your face
In another light
Why'd you have to go
And let it die
Why'd you have to go
And let it die
Why'd you have to go
And let it die
In too deep
And out of time
Why'd you have to go
And let it die
A simple man
And his blushing bride
(Why'd you have to go)
(And let it die)
Intravenous
Intertwined
(Why'd you have to go)
(And let it die)
Hearts gone cold
Your hands were tied
(Why'd you have to go)
(And let it die)
Why'd you have to go
And let it die
(Why'd you have to go)
(And let it die)
Why'd you have to go
And let it die
In too deep
And out of time
Why'd you have to go
And let it die
Do you ever think of me
You're so considerate
Did you ever think of me
Oh so considerate
In too deep
And lost in time
Why'd you have to go
And let it die
Beautiful veins
And bloodshot eyes
Why'd you have to go
And let it die
Hearts gone cold
And hands are tied
Why'd you have to go
And let it die
Why'd you have to go
And let it die
Do you ever think of me
You're so considerate
Did you think of me
Oh so considerate
In too deep
And lost in time
Why'd you have to go
And let it die
Beautiful veins
And bloodshot eyes
Why'd you have to go
And let it die
Hearts gone cold
And hands are tied
Why'd you have to go
And let it die
Why'd you have to go
And let this die
Why'd you have to go
And let this die
Why'd you have to go
And let this die
Why'd you have to go
And let this die
Why'd you have to go
And let it die
- Foo Fighters -
Yes, I know it repeats itself a fair bit. Even though this is so, the music is intense; the vocals are powerful; and the lyrics are just incredible. I love how the song starts slow - planting that seed of quiet, dark thoughts; then gradually grows faster and louder - stemming moments of sorrow and bewilderment.
Incredible.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 11:15 PM 0 comment(s)
One Hundred Hours.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
This is a waste of my fucking time.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 9:41 PM 0 comment(s)
Same Location, Different Directions.
Beautiful are the flowers that my eyes spend every moment adoring. Yet the winds are harsh, and toward them it blows hard.
Where once their petals brushed along one another, now they face different directions - no longer peering up to the Sun. The earth beneath them remains their only connection.
I weep that it has turned to this.
Though the view is no longer the same, my eyes fail to stray.
Beautiful are the flowers.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 4:31 PM 0 comment(s)
Challenge II.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
"I know you've been through a lot, and the last thing you want is more questions..."
I couldn't understand whatever it is he muttered under his breath.
"... Well sir, every little bit of information that I can get from you will greatly help. The Army is sending another team down, and I am to lead it..."
More muttering. Was he even listening to me?
"... we need to know about the army you faced."
Silence. Weird. I would've thought he'd continue with his soft, incomprehensible babbling. Whatever. I have matters to attend to - matters that involve the success of the mission, and the survival of my team.
"Firstly.. I'd like to kn--"
"It wasn't an army."
I hate it when people cut me off mid-sentence.
"How many times must I tell you people? When will you get it through your thick skulls? It wasn't a bloody army."
Hostile. Probably delusional. Just signs of another victim of war. I'd have to play to his emotions. This better be worth it.
"... What else could it have been?"
"They are not an army."
We've established that. This fool needs to tell me more.
"They're a team. A small team."
Go on. Go on. Go on.
"They call themselves the Dead-6."
I've heard a lot about this team. Their true numbers are unknown: some signs point to there being just five members, others point to there being twelve. It's hard to believe anything I've read about them actually. The Army has lost too many men on missions against the Dead-6. Our forces are the best in the world - it's impossible that a small group of men play us for fools on the battlefield.
Impossible.
".. and what do you know of the Dead-6?"
More babbling. But from what I can make out, his experience confirms every report written about them.
"Sir, speak louder. And tell me something that hasn't already been written in the reports. Please."
Silence. Nothing more to say?
I asked so many more questions - but the hours I spent with him were fruitless. He remained silent throughout the entire time. It took me a while, but I eventually gave up. As I took that first step out the door, he called me and motioned for me to come to him. Hoping for something to work on, I went to his side. He pulled me close, and whispered into my ear.
What he said was a waste of my time.
***
That was two weeks ago.
Today, I'm in a completely different scenario. My team and I are pushing a mission on an area that has come to be known as "Backlot". We were dropped into this zone about two hours ago. There were fifteen of us then.
There are only four of us left.
I haven't seen the enemy. But they are there. In the corner of my eye I see shadows move, but every time I turn, I am greeted by nothing.
A shot is fired, and my teammate falls. Sniper.
No. A closer inspection reveals that the wound didn't come from a sniper rifle. A light machine gun? Where?
Bursts of fire. My two remaining teammates are now lying on their backs.
What the hell is going on here?
I run off into a corner - it should offer me some refuge for the moment. I've got to get out of here.
Footsteps. Someone is near.
I am ready. Let the bastard come. I'll pump him with lead.
Another shot - my hands bleed. The wound... I can't hold my gun. Oh God...
A shadow comes over me. I look up to find a man standing before me, knife in hand. My eyes catch the name tag on his breast. "Cleric".
This is madness.
One thrust, and I know my life is at its last moment. My eyes close as the enemy walks away, and the last words of the man I questioned just two weeks ago play across my mind...
... "You cannot hope to kill ghosts."
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 7:43 PM 0 comment(s)
Entertainment.
The content of this post has little to do with its title, as I have no form of entertainment to please my oh-so-bloody-bored soul.
Actually, there's not much content at all. I'm pretty much done with this post.
Huzzah.
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 4:47 PM 0 comment(s)