Me.
Breathing Underwater.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
It was a cold day. I needed to feel warm, so I stepped into the shower. Yes. A hot bath. That's what I needed.
I had my hands pressed against the wall, the hot water drizzling over me. Strangely nothing felt as it should have been - the water was definitely hot, but I couldn't feel it. No... not today. Warmth escaped me. I held that position for ages, so many thoughts raced through my mind.
Wait. Maybe not. It was just that one thought, only so many variations to it.
Drops of water rolled down my face and into my wide open mouth, as I brought my forehead to rest against the cold wall. I closed my eyes to save myself from all the vivid images that were imaginatively projected before me. Few things kept me company now.
The sound of my own breathing.
A hundred or more drops of water splashing quietly onto the floor.
The feel of the water rushing down my body.
Still not warm enough. The water still wasn't warm enough.
I heard myself sing. Softly, with almost no tone. At first, I didn't know what I was singing. I wanted to stop, but I was too curious to stop. I knew the words to the song, therefore I had to know what song it was. And so I sang.
Till the very end.
I downloaded the song soon after.
I've been listening to it for close to an hour now.
Adam, maybe it's time.
Forget the tears. The fears. The effort. The pain. The constraint. Forget it all, and more.
Yes Adam. Maybe it really is time.
No More "I Love You"s
I used to be a lunatic
From the gracious days
I used to be woebegone
And so restless nights
My aching heart would bleed
For you to see
Oh but now
I don't find myself bouncing home whistling Buttonhole tunes to make me cry
No more "I love you"s
The language is leaving me
No more "I love you"s
Changes are shifting outside the word
(The lover speaks about the monsters)
I used to have demons in my room at night
Desire, despair, desire
So many monsters
Oh but now
I don't find myself bouncing home whistling Buttonhole tunes to make me cry
No more "I love you"s
The language is leaving me in silence
No more "I love you"s
Changes are shifting outside the word
- Annie Lennox -
Given a certain level of thought byAdam Dewind at 8:52 PM